Tag Archive | comfort

YOUR Present Determines Your Future ~ Not Your Past


While your Past circumstances or choices may have contributed to or led to your present, it is what you do with your present that will contribute or lead to your future.

Time, chance and circumstance happen to everyone. Your choices have consequences.Others may contribute positively or negatively to your life and situation but its your choices that determine your outcome.

Someone else’s good fortune is NOT the reason for your misfortune and jealousy or envy only leads to strife and excuses that cause resentments.

At some point in everyone’s life they have to take responsibility for their own present life.You cant blame your parents,your boss, your friends,your enemies for your actions. You alone choose your path whether or not to take the easy way out or take the initiative or exercise the perseverance needed to improve or change your path in life.

Imagining & using excuses or dwelling in the past to wallow in your present will make your future dim. Working within your own personal limitations no matter what they are there is always a way to change your path.. You just have to decide if you will remain a victim of your perceived circumstances or plan and execute ways to go in a new direction.

So what if you are a nationality you may not like or if you have freckles,or are bald, or fat, or scarred or are thin or dont like how you look or dont like where you live or dont like another’s view points or feel cheated in some way or another or missed opportunities in the past.

You can always seek to work towards another opportunity and take it when it arises You can always clean yourself up if needed to improve your self image and mindset.
No one is perfect or the sole standard for all to be like.

It doesnt matter what my ancestors did, were or were viewed like. Whether my grandfathers were kings, slaves, cavemen, warriors,  heroes, scientists, chimney sweeps, farmhands,, politicians doctors, waiters, servants  or cowards means nothing to where I am at now or where I can choose to be in the future.

It is up to me and my perceptions as to what I shall become and how I am remembered,  as anyone can rise above their circumstances or sink to levels that benefit no one, especially themselves.

Its okay to ask for help when needed but also right to help someone in need.

Everyone is both a giver and a taker at some points in their lives. Its never alright to take when you are not willing to give to or to demand from others what you will not do for yourself or others.

We are only entitled to life and to participate in it with others as we all inter-depend on one another in whichever society we live in.

You must be willing to contribute to your own life, as well as to the lives of others, if you think others should in some way contribute to your life.

If you live a life where your lot is profitable, it is still partly because of others in your life . Never should you get ahead by pushing someone else behind you. LEND A HAND.pay it  forward!

There will always be a line in mankind, those up front and those behind- those with wealth and those without. No matter where you stand in that line, know there is always someone less fortunate as well as those more fortunate.

Wherever you see your place in that line of life, play by the right rules set forth by your Creator and humbly do everything with gratitude and by making right choices. Persevere, move forward, live each day to its fullest potential.

Do your best at whatever task is before you.Don’t wallow  in your  failures, but pick yourself up and start over again and again as necessary. Make  changes as you figure out better ways  to do  something. Never stop  learning. NO ONE knows it all.

Live life with faith in God, dignity, honesty, generosity but most of all live it with godly LOVE for others. God is love.

Any religion filled with hate, murder, allowing  theft, encouraging lying and more negative agendas to their theology where their  ‘god’ that is otherwise called  be assured that is not ‘god’ but a devil.

Do not follow a devil as a god.The devil is a liar and father of lies and will seek to manipulate and  deceive and provide justifications for wrong doing.

God does not lie. JESUS is the example to follow – He is the Way, the Truth and the Life as well as the Resurrection and thru Him you can attain eternal life or reject it.

He said all others are liars and they will be separated in eternity to go to the place of darkness away from God that is called hell or the lake of fire.

God doesn’t make people go there.They go there as the consequence of their choices demonstrated by their rejection of God and His ways during their lives.

Dont make or accept wrong, negative unrighteous or underhanded choices .

Stand up for mankind, fight for the right, reject the wrong.

Walk in another’s shoes without being judgmental. Let God be their judge.
Live peacefully, strive to maintain peace, strive for peace but do not surrender to wrong or to tyrants or to any evil.

Seek to be free and not to be enslaved by anyone. Separate yourselves from evildoers.

Pray for those who despitefully use you. Avoid troublemakers.

Help those in need to get on the right path. Oppress no one.

When you move on always move  forward.

Consider the past as lessons  learned,  to help avoid the pitfalls that may lay ahead.

Remain hopeful, do not despair, give life your best effort. YOU WILL SUCCEED.

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Marriage…divorce…God….? What about it?


I think people lock themselves into ‘words’ and the ‘lawand not the spirit of the words.

What actually is a marriage anyway?

Cant a person easily recite a sinners prayer in a church, at an emotional or deceptive moment and walk away, [like the seed along the rocky road] and never grow? .. an insincere verbal commitment perhaps??

Was that  person ever really ‘saved’ or is that person ‘backslid’ and/ or apostate ?

Likewise how  many people have entered into a legal marital union thinking they understood the committment, yet found they didnt even understand each other?

How many mistake lust  for love? 


How come so many quickly fall out of love when the honeymoon is over?

Like the love God has for us, which is pure and holy, how many actually have a marriage that starts out that way or remains that way?
Divorce is rampant.

Infidelity is considered normal in the world.

Adultery is encouraged by society as a whole. Look at TV..

Still that vulnerable little plant of love that one ‘can feel for another’ and then ‘marry’ can sometimes last a  lifetime as evidenced by people who have remained married over 50 yrs and still have a twinkle in their eyes for one another….they seem to be the exception to the rule anymore..

The dirty devil has polluted every facet of life and religion that he can and never ceases to devise ways to torment God’s people.

We all are sinners and all make mistakes and often out of guilt, fear or ignorance can remain in an ungodly marriage for decades because they believe it is God’s will not to divorce..

Well it is also God’s will not to steal, kill or be a glutton, but those are sins the eyes get winked at.

It is easier to receive a death row reject who found religion and listen to such a one than to accept a person who has had a heartfelt change and a new or better relationship with Christ but has a divorce on their record.

I knew one such couple that had a great music ministry and were allowed to perform at church but because both had been  previously divorced, legalistic members would never allow them to be names as official music ministry members, which eventually led them to leave.

In another instance the pastor’s 16 yr old daughter shockingly got pregnant so he married her to her boyfriend to make it ‘right’….

3 yrs later at the ripe age of 19 they split up.

She was allowed to be the music minister of that church, simply because she was the only one who could play the piano [ gotta love a country church~] that went on well til she was mid 20’s and fell in ‘love’ again

Now to remarry, her dad had the dilemma on how to justify it, since the bible says so much against divorce and then remarriage, especially for a woman.

They decided to call her ex – gay~ After all, he once was quoted as saying he would rather be with a man than to ever have anything to do with her again… so he just had to be gay… [couldnt have been her constant attacks and her 400 lb stature]….no couldnt be…could  it?

This compromise and legalistic justification seeking,  on her dad, the pastor’s part eventually led to him leaving the pastorate, as he couldnt legalize everything he was so ignorant of.

So the point I am trying to make is that God has called us to peace but with the devil’s intervention on our ‘browns’ ,has interfered in our relationship not only with God but in every facet of life, primarily in marriages since God has called the marriage bed to remain undefiled and often it is not.

Jesus said that divorce was allowed because of the hardness of heart but only justifiable in cases of adultery…

Now consider spiritual adultery and God divorcing Israel because she went after the baals… false religion, defiling the spiritual marriage bed with the devil..his devices primarily… like changing animal sacrifices for sacrileges and temple desecrations, or the marriage bed defiled by adultery with another husband [ or wife whoever it is that commits the adultery]… and is adultery merely the sexual act??? 

Not necessarily… since it is a break in faith with the one you are married to and consummated symbolically by the sexual act [ or joining of house to house]..

It can also be, as to look to another with the eye, as Jesus said to look at a woman wrongly is to already have committed adultery in their heart… so it is more than mere ignorant infidelity.

So what if you are legally married on paper but have a spouse who has not committed their soul to you?

Isnt it the same as a person mouthing the sinners prayer insincerely?

I think there are people who are considered ‘legally married’ but have failed to be married in the eyes of God since He searches the hearts and minds of men[and women] and knows us better than we know ourselves.

Some churches out and out reject a divorced person but embrace a repentent murderer.

Other churches split hairs and will allow a divorced person if they were divorced prior to getting saved.

Still some churches will allow a divorced & remarried couple to attend but not become members or anyone of importance.

God has called us to peace, but Spirit of Religion has wormed its way into Christianity and the devil with his ‘has not God saids’ has managed to manipulate even churches who claim to know the grace of God and walk by it, take exception to those who are divorced without regard to whether they ever were or werent truly married in the eyes of God.

Why is it then, that many churches will recognize that a sinner who nonrepentently says a sinners prayer in another church will be required to ‘get saved over again’ or baptized in another church ‘over again‘ … not recognizing the previous feeble perhaps attempt, but will hold a past marriage in an iron clad condemnation?

Better yet, that person is considered to not being capable of managing his own household and therefore not allowed to be a pastor or preacher…

If all the exceptions were to ever be considered, who could ever stand before a church and be counted worthy at all?

GBU~! Ave

If someone commits suicide, do they always go to hell???


Does everyone who commits suicide go to hell???
I look back to the sinner on the cross next to Jesus. His fate was
sealed, he was dying! He still was saved by Jesus…

I don’t condone suicide.Of course it is wrong, but what leads a person to commit it is as important as to why they commit it.

Whether they succeed [in killing themself]or are spared [failed suicide attempt] is another consideration.

God is the judge, not man as to where they go.Most forget that and pass judgements on those who commit suicide, usually erroneously damning them to hell, because we are told in the bible to not judge by the outward appearance but instead with right judgement… If we judged by appearance then that sinner on the cross alongside Jesus would have certainly gone to hell, but scripture tells us that Jesus promised him paradice. I rather believe Jesus over man…

When I was young, I have seriously tried it many times myself to be amazed that I woke up alive a few days later!!!

Many of the health issues I have today are results from past attempts,BUT I am hear to tell about it.

In fact before I was ‘saved’ by the grace of God, through Jesus sacrifice on the cross for my sins, I believed God was dead!! Now I know better.God is alive and well and coming to judge the living and the dead some day.

It was the early 70’s and the Viet Nam war was costing more and more lives, immorality was rampant,drugs everywhere….morals wre breaking down, ban the bra movement along with the hippie movement.. decadence was coming into power in our nation as values dissappeared.

At my job on Wall St., one day a black co worker named Jack Gaddy was on the phone and suddenly, screamed and fell to the floor crying inconsolably. He received the call no parent ever wants. His apt in Harlem had a fire and his two children aged 2 & 4 had burned to death.

My parents home burned down the Christmas before and I was able to save my brothers and sisters along with my older sisters help. I had nighmares however, wondering what it would have been like had we left one behind? We had 13 kids in the family back then and it could have
happened. Now this…

I went to the funeral.

2 babies burnt to death in an apt fire.

Other co-workers went as well and we were told we were there for support and reminded not to cry.

I stopped in a bar before entering the funeral home and downed a couple of scotches to help me keep control of my
emotions…

The minister was very emotional and said ” No longer will these children have to face the hustle and bustle of NYC- no longer have to face the trials and tribulations of this world“…. [and on and on]

After the funeral, I downed some more scotch to keep brave as I had done before the funeral…

Seeing those little white caskets sealed with those tiny babies dead inside, I railed at God saying “How could you do such a thing?” as I heard echos in my mind of that poor mother and grandmother screaming inconsolably at the funeral,” OH GOD GIVE ME BACK MY BABIES, GIVE ME BACK MY BABIES!!” it still echoes in my mind today..

That could have been my mother crying…

That night I went home and decided to go to ‘mass’ as I was then a Catholic and light some candles.

I couldn’t shake the emotionalism of that black Baptist funeral in Harlem…Those words of the minister rang in my mind…I had never been to what I would have called a ‘Protestant Service’ , but 2 babies belonging to a co-worker were dead and it was all too heartbreaking.

I didnt want to face the hustle and bustle of NYC either!!!

I didnt want to live in such a rotten world with a ‘god’ that let little babies die, so horribly and felt if he didnt spare them what hope would I ever have???

I knew suicide was a pass straight to hell according to Catholic belief. I wasnt certain if it existed or if we were all already living in it..but didnt want to directly try it.

After the mass, I was up front in the church and lit some candles to a Mother Mary statue and was saying some prayers with tears in my eyes…

I stared at the statue when suddenly I actually saw a smokey like vapor take form around the head and a figure swaying all about the statue as it was trying to keep praying and avoiding this vaporish apparition

I became intrigued as this apparition took form and was  tormenting the praying statue of Mother Mary…I saw that with prayer she was withstanding this assault.

I blinked my eyes to clear them and yet the apparition remained moving about the statue as the statue began to sway from side to side while looking upwards towards heaven, obviously suffering and praying for relief!

I asked how can I resist the evil in this world , how can I escape it?

The statue looked down at me with a vaporous face that now moved and spoke to me! This was my first supernatural demonic encounter.

I thought it was Mother Mary~~~ I knew the stories of her appearing at Fatima  and such places to others and now I felt a strange peace that she was speaking to me~!

She told me that if I really wanted to leave this world that I wouldnt go to hell if I repented before I died

She said that I could go home, if I was serious, take all the pills I had in hand and shut my door- to let no one know and to present myself as a sacrifice.

To do it right, I was to be certain not to tell a soul as it must be kept secret or I could go to hell…I was to take those pills and then paint a picture of Jesus as my repentence~~

If I focused on Jesus that I would go to heaven

I had to obey her words exactly however or my sacrifice wouldnt be accepted

I went home and baracaded my bedroom door and took all the pills and began to paint a picture of Jesus.

I soon became entranced [by the medications] and struggled to stay awake painting this picture of Jesus, knowing I had to make it perfect since it was a gift for God himself~!

It became harder to remain awake, but I knew I had to keep painting.

It was a small painting and the paint got thicker and thicker becoming raised off the little canvas…

I kept making corrections and building on that face…. with thorns and blood… I couldnt get that image out of my mind, but I wasnt going to disobey Mother Mary

I was going to keep my focus on Jesus…. Hours passed…about 7 -8 hours since I took all the pills and began the
painting…

[[ I found out later after the fact, that had I gone to sleep I would have died~!]]

I could barely keep my eyes open but the painting didnt look finished..

Then a smokey apparition appeared over the image

I blinked my eyes to clear my sight… it stared back at me and the thorns suddenly merged upwards, formed horns and the eyes popped out at me and the mouth showed its teeth and chomped them at me~~~
I freaked…

It turned into Satan!~ I must have failed!!!

I took a palette knife and immediately scraped all the layers of paint off and looked at the canvas and saw what looked like Jesus in the shroud of Turin~~ eyes closed and dead!!!!

I put it down and then went to sleep…It was dawn.

I awoke and felt that I failed to obey Mary and sought to get more pills to try it again and do it right.

I was convinced I was supposed to die. After a few more attempts, I gave up and decided to live since I didnt die when I should have… { Jesus spared me!}

[[[It wasnt til years later that I realized that the devil comes as
an angel of light and this was in fact a demon that was leading me to
my death…

It wasn’t Mary, but a demon using her form…

 Jesus however knew that I loved him since I was young and spared my life
that day …]]]

Anyway several months later, I once again became dissillusioned with living after having been raped and beaten and date raped and more I thought about that last attempt and felt I should try it over..

This time I took 150 pills with a qt of scotch and a 1/4 qt bottle of vodka..

Again I was alone, living in my own apt with a roommate. I even wrote out a ‘will’ and goodbye letter for my family.

I took it all and technically died.

[Several years later in hospital, the doctors  saw evidence of an earlier heart attack, although I had never been treated for any heart condition up til that point.]

 I laid alone 3 days since my roommate went away for the weekend after I took all the pills…

I even had had a heart attack and developed bleeding ulcers.

I laid in my own mess from Friday night til Monday morning.

When I arose and realized my roommate never came home over the weekend, I went to step outside to find out what day it was and to use my neighbors phone.

I was worried about my roommate failing to return home and asked my neighbors to call the police so I could fill out a missing persons report…

One look at me and they called an ambulance..

AS I tried to argue not to go into the hospital, my roommate turned the corner walking towards us.

It looked like she was 3 ft off the ground. I thought she was a ghost.

I passed out and woke en route to the hospital. I was admitted for 10 days.

This time while in the hospital, I began to think God may be alive afterall and apparently had some control over life and death.

After a few weeks of being in the hospital I was released and visited a priest to ask some questions like why didnt I die…

He told me after 3 hours of talking, that I was forgiven and to start going back to church…I told him about the last time I went to church and Mother Mary telling me to commit suicide. He had no answers for that.

He agreed through the entire story that it was ‘her’ appearing to me til I told him what she said to do~

Then he went pale and I left.He said she never would have done that.

I was starting to realize that there is a spirit world and it affects us all…

I didnt go back to that church, however as I didnt want any more of those encounters with the “Mary” I had met, whoever she was…

It took several months til my stomach healed enough to eat regular food again and then I also resumed drinking.

I did however believe that God was now alive.

I still didnt know why he lets babies die and that bothered me a long time.

My roommate had moved away meanwhile and we remained in contact. She moved back upstate to care for her father who was dying from cancer.

I went upstate to visit my old roommate and was amazed how she cared for her dad. She remained there til September when he died, then called me to visit and I went over to console her.All I could imagine was if that had been my dad and I felt aweful for her.

She wanted to go to some churches that werent Catholic and I reluctantly agreed and that is where I was eventually led to meeting Jesus and getting saved.

I still was haunted by what I percieved to be God’s lack of mercy in how some people died but was now looking for some answers and started to see that it was the devil causing all the evil,so I began praying that the devil would get saved and that everyone would then get saved if the devil stopped bugging people..[of course I was wrong, but naiive]

I soon learned in my Christian walk that it wasnt God’s fault about death but that the devil, not born in the flesh, could not get saved and that
the world was about to change when Jesus returned.

Anyway, I found from those encounters and more to come that no one has power over their day of death!

Those who are successful at committing suicide, just as with victims of accidents or  violence, that it is in fact their time to go.  Never give up hope in the mercy of God!

I also know that when someone is in the actual process of dying, that time stops for them and they enter a spiritual state that seems endless,

I was there, more than once and have read and heard of similar encounters of near death experiences others have had.

During this time, as I did, people do talk to spirits and some may be heading towards hell.

Others can and do accept Jesus and ask forgiveness.

Some, whose bodies are so damaged are permitted to die.

That doesnt mean they are judged for hell as God will have mercy on whom he will have mercy, just as readily we can believe a person
can jump in front of a train to save another and they themselves get killed as being ‘a savior’, we have less doubt that that person goes to hell…

I believe that the common conception that suicide equals hell is done more to try and prevent some from trying to commit it.

God is the judge not us and if we are to believe that a person, so totally in despair that they commit suicide would automatically go to hell for it, that we are by way of logical progression, accusing God of being unfair and uncaring that such a person suffered in life and death.

God is able to save to the uttermost those who come to him through Jesus.

Some peoples deaths serve to draw other people closer to God. Some people are just so hurt in life that it seems unrepairable and God calls them home to comfort them.

It is appointed unto man once to die, then the judgement … not my speculations as to where they will reside in eternity according to my perceptions.

I know that I trust our God who ultimately is Love and
whatever mercy we think we can fathom to extend to another human being is nothing compared to the mercy he extends to us all.

In the old testament, various acts by individuals were wrong in man’s eye but counted as righteous in God’s eye, like Rahab the harlot lying to save the spies…Her lie wasnt to protect herself but others and it was counted by God as ‘righteous’… yet we are told liars go
to hell…

So it is clear here that God makes exceptions under various circumstances as written in the bible.

I extend those exceptions, that I do not understand, back to the wisdom of God and know he always does what is right.

I wont allow the devil to pull a ‘hath not God said’ thing with me and make me think a person is going to hell for how they died…

Rather, they will go to hell for how they lived! It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living god.

I can honestly offer comfort to all who have lost loved ones, of the hope I have in Jesus and trust in my God that the suffering in life ends at death and that only those so notoriously evil will have to face God and his judgement,

however those who forn whatever reason, became so distraught with the pains suffered in this life are often actually rescued through their deaths by God and then again, some recover to live longer on earth, while to others he says “welcome home children”…

Yet it is our duty to reach out to the lonely and in despair to help them and guide them into more productive lives.

Likewise it is our privilege to offer comfort to those who lost loved ones including those who died apparently by their own hand.

GBU~!
Ave