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Can a person lose their salvation??


Looking at it from various perspectives.. You have to consider where you are at when considering this. From a human point of view, you have ‘free will’ and choose daily whom you will serve, whether it be yourself, others, others with a motive[selfish reasons] , others out of love or concern. There is a way that seems right to a man… so we are told that even a ‘bad father’ can give good things to his children, With that said, you meet people who may not believe in God, yet are humanly generous & decent.

When thinking from a worldly perspective you may find a mental argument considering that if there is a God, that it would be most unfair of Him to condemn such ‘nice’ people to an eternal hell…or that ‘if there is a God in Heaven, so and so would have to be an angel…and so on when referring to a deceased loved one and not having any knowledge of the Holy One.

Then you have those who claim to ‘believe in God’ and may have been brought up in a certain culture or religion, follow all the pre-set rules and behave accordingly, outwardly~ yet their actions, demonstrate they are only holding a form of religion while denying its power by their very daily actions…Example a ‘slum lord’ that through greed causes human suffering yet may be a pillar in his so called church…Or perhaps a person who knows there is a God but limits his service to God to what is self serving at the same time.. sharing the throne as he is ruled by his own wicked heart and not trying to learn what is pleasing to the Father, rather trying to pay his way in…Ex. Mafia killer who donates heavily to a church…[extreme example I know but made for a point]

Then you have a person, who knows there is something bigger than himself out there [God has put eternity into the hearts of men..] that may not belong to any set religion, but almost instinctively chooses to do good for others and will often put him/herself at a disadvantage by choosing to do what is best for someone else, whether it be family or stranger…Such a person would be like the Good Samaritan, perhaps, that cares for the needs of others. There are all sorts of people out there and they have all sorts of things going on inside them that motivates their actions.

 WE are told not to judge by appearances, since we can not always discern another’s motives..That is why the Holy Spirit searches the hearts and minds of men….Often the person who truly serves God by his/her selflessness, may be obscure in the crowd and the person you would least expect.. That is why the Jews didnt receive Jesus.. They expected an omnipotent leader to emerge as a king and destroy their oppressors…but that wasnt how he came and he was for the most part rejected, a man of sorrows , aquainted with grief, while still doing miracles that drew attention to his cause in demonstrating how we should seek the Father and how to please Him, culminating in his sacrifice on the cross…

We too must pick up our cross daily… and if we are prospering on earth for what we do for God, doesn’t that make us like a hireling, since we might care more for the outward show and glory here instead of heaping up our rewards in heaven? So what must a man do to be saved and can we lose our salvation? Since the heart of man is deceitful, desperate to be corrupt, we are challenged daily by our circumstances to choose whom we will serve and how we are to justify our own actions.

We tend to blow it and make wrong choices, if not everyday, at least at times that will plainly reveal that we are in sin and not perfectly behaving within the will of God. The Jews had it all written down, just needed to obey, as to what God wants and yet even with the blessings they received, they were not content and sought after the Baals and subsequently were punished for many centuries..

The example shows us that we can be chosen by God , yet still chastized when we do wrong and sometimes die in our sins..After all when going by the Law, guilty of one is the same as being guilty of all…All have fallen short of the glory of God. The Spirit of Antichrist has been around from the beginning~ beguiling Even & Adam in the Garden all the way down to every person ever born…Satan is evil and infects mankind by whispering into our ears and offering foul solutions to life that will not please God.

Funny that human anatomy gives us two ears…not that either is good of bad, but that there is two…like the choices we get- choose daily , right or wrong…and we get two eyes..seeing a choice in everything we come across.. dark or light, good or bad… BUT we get one mouth..and out of the mouth comes the culmination of what we think…out of the mouth the abundance of the heart speaks.. We are given one heart– cant serve two masters- love one, hate the other.. WE are given one stomache that digests whatever we put into it, although some things nourish, while others make us sick… WE are wonderfully made! Still we are housed in one body while on earth and when one part of the body suffers, the entire body suffers, so becoming of sound mind means certain criteria we have to establish in our own hearts and adhere to..

Do not be double minded as such receive no blessings from God. Take every thought captive, holding fast to that which is good- Learning to please the Father. To be greatest of all when reaching heaven, become a servant of all here on earth, laying down life for a friend and putting the needs of others before your own.

Commit your way to the Lord and your plan will be established. Choose this day whom you will serve. Today is the day of salvation, as the Holy Spirit draws you into the presence of God, surrender your unbridled will to Him and taste and see that the Lord is good. Man makes alot of mistakes during his life time since now we only see in part, but it is promised that later we shall see fully and understand… Jesus is the rock of our salvation.

What does that mean to you? Are mere words a plan for war? Will wickedness deliver those who are given to it? How can you become firm in faith and be assured of your eternal reward? What tightrope must you walk if any, to be assured of the mercy of God?

JESUS~ He came to show us the WAY but many dont look at all that really involves. Most can plainly see that as a man he did good deeds and some miracles and allowed himself to be martyred for the cause, so to speak. Even demons believe~!

 But what was it that made Him so special to be called the Messiah or only begotten Son of God… I mean, humanly speaking some called him a drunkard and He even demonstrated anger and violence when He chased the money changers out of the temple…So what is it about Jesus that makes anyone choose to follow Him and at what capacity? Are they mimicking a good man and have a masochistic streak that makes them want to be martyred? Even religions professing other dieties do as much , like a buddhist monk set afire to make some point…

What is it about Jesus that sets Him apart from all the others out there , like Mohamad or Buddha?You need first to be convinced in your own mind but it can be argued that Muslims and Buddhists[and others] are similarly persuaded to lay down their lives for their beliefs~

Nimrod was a mighty king in Babylon and he persuaded the known world to follow him to the point of total unity~! People saw him as right when he shot the arrow into the heavens to snot the real God and show he can do as he pleased. No wonder God didn’t destroy mankind, rather He scattered their speech so they could no longer fellowship in wrong in unity but were dispersed…and why?

Another  reason is 1/3 of the heavenly host were cast down to earth and these wandering spirits have thoughts that oppose God so they will be separated from Him eternally into a place where they can enjoy their thoughts which are evil and cause suffering. They are spirits and know alot more about the spirit world and have been observing and manipulating mankind from the beginning .

Not satisfied with the judgement they received in being cast out of heaven, they seek to cull out all from God’s creation that embrace such thoughts..

They didnt create mankind. They know God did create mankind for His glory and they HATE God, so they want to destroy anything of God’s while they are loose and wandering so they plot evil and plant it into the thoughts of the minds of men.

Starting at birth, they whisper thoughts into man’s mind , right alongside the blessed and good thoughts that also are being placed for consideration into man’s mind. Mischief is bound up [trapped] into the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline [thy rod and staff comfort me] will drive it far from them…[Train up a child in the way that they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it]

They even infect into man’s mind, ways to twist the scriptures and cause child abuse, by the lack of knowledge people possess when reading scriptures. They twist the scriptures to make God seem unfair or harsh, when in reality He is Love…real  love. The evil  ones, tell a man’s mind that you must ‘beat’ a child, when God’s rod and staff comfort us, try telling a child who is beat with a rod that it is of any comfort!!

Not to say we aren’t to be chastized or that a child should never be spanked, but the object of a painful punishment is to challenge the thoughts of the child to seek better choices, godly ones.. not to foster contempt and future revenge on others, but repentence from the misdeed and a clearer choice to want the rewards of doing what is right.

Spiritually we get spanked when as children of God we do wrong, but never with His intention to do us harm, rather His plans for us are always GOOD.

God is good. God is Love. God is willing that none should perish.. God wants all to come to repentence.[that is to choose right..His ways.. over wrong.. the devils ways] Devils will eventually be thrown into a prison – lake of fire- that they can continue living in but can no longer recruit follwers to…

We are here on this earth for a temporary amount of time, in bodies that are corruptible and will die.The spirit of the soul placed within our beings is eternal but will be judged by the choices it makes that are planted within our hearts and minds.It is a war within our minds to choose each day whom we will serve.

Since man tends to judge by outward appearances, is visual as some say, it is often negated or ignored that there is a spiritual world or dimension out there that we belong to, since we dont see it readily, nor do we know our own personal futures as we are trapped into the cares of the world around us, needing food, shelter and clothing and to do things that we can obtain such with.

Evil spirits readily speak to our minds continually, suggesting ways in which we can make this world our home and that the afterlife means little, so that we then tend to make ourselves as our own gods and stray away from seeking the Holy One who has another place prepared for us that is in eternal glory.

Such evil spirits, when allowed to influence a man’s mind continually, will bring about an imbalance in the man’s ability to make choices as confusion and chaos siege a man’s mind. At such a place of being so infected with wrong, the man becomes mentally imbalanced, runs on emotions and can become a mental patient. This is spiritual oppression.

If that continues to where a man then acts on such oppressive thoughts to where they control his mind  with such manipulation that the man loses his sense of free will, the person can become possessed by  those spirits and wreak havoc in the  lives of others and become a destroyer or murderer.

The Holy Spirit is departed from such a person, as they reject all that is good and holy . Such a person still can be delivered and spared by God, so there is hope for all who worry about their own salvation.. which  may be why we are told to work out our salvation with fear[of displesing God] and trembling.[knowing it is only by His grace we are saved and not by our works, lest any man should boast!]

We can not see it or comprehend what God has prepared for those that …love…Him… So how do we love Him? How do we know what He wants? How do we serve Him? How can we be sure of what we are doing and if it is right or wrong or if it will prosper us to endure to the end and thus be saved from it all?

The righteous can fall 7 times but the wicked only once.. so we know there is room for error on our part, but as for the cursed, their future is secure in that they know they are going to hell and have nothing to gain by repentence, so in their evil thoughts seek to take along as many as they can to go into that eternal damnation…

[Woe to you Destroyer, you who have not been destroyed, when you cease to destroy, you will be destroyed..]

The Holy Spirit of God is in total unity with God. The devil is the author of confusion and chaos. God is peace . The devil is not, nor are his followers who will bite and devour one another and any they can prey into, like lions culling out a flock.. ripping them apart and eating them…

But to all who received Him, who believed in His name, He gave POWER to become children of God.

Those who do not have any love for the Truth or God could care less about salvation or eternity.

Such are narcissists and sociopaths that have NO conscience. Hard to imagine such people, but they do exist! Murderers such as serial killers and dictators who oppress their people and have little regard for human life of those they hate .{ex.Hitler & Jews]

Such serve only themselves and feign concern for others , only as they can profit by them or off them. Such people can kill with no remorse and are known even to non believers as evil and dangerous.

They are those who willingly destroy and kill for any agenda that they embrace[ such as terrorists and suicide bombers] Those who possess a conscience that leans towards doing good and are concerned over right and wrong as the lost who need to be found and they are the ones one might say are ‘predestined’ to be saved as the Father gave such to the Son.

[ All that the Father gives me WILL come to Me and him who comes to Me , I will NOT cast out.’] so there is a degree of predestination, but consider the race is not for the swift…

A person can prepare and practice for a race, but still not win it..so there is more involved than just predestination. A long distance runner can go so far and then lose endurance and quit the race, thus never to be crowned a winner… so we can not merely say we are predestined to be saved and going to heaven no matter what..

We have to choose, be committed and do the works that are given us to do.Not that the works are a measurement of our salvation, but that while doing works, we become living epistles and can show others to likewise become aware of the great love the Father has for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us and we now must pick up the torch and carry on as He did .

 The Holy Spirit puts the desire to do right, into our hearts. We need to listen to the Holy Spirit and choose to serve God. We need to want do do the works He did and as we try and learn what is pleasing to the Father, we must choose to reject what caused us to sin against Him.

We must not be those who lead others astray, nor become instruments of evil in the destruction of mankind. We falter.We get led astray at times. We make wrong choices or react wrongly to circumstances.

When in the Lion’s Den, we may freak out- or- we can stand firm and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that the one who can destroy our bodies can not destroy our spirit…If anything we should fear only Him who can destroy both body and spirit…

Seeing the heavenly battle, knowing our enemy, not being ignorant of the devil’s devices…how do we know what to do?….By taking heed according to the Word of God that was made flesh and dwelt among us~ Studying the Word ~ not from a humanly beneficial point of view~ but looking for that eternal point of view~ God’s view~

Take every thought in your head  that enters your mind captive! Consider if they are good and will have a good outcome and what your motives are in embracing such thoughts.

Do not be double minded…How? Dwell on whatever is good, holy and acceptable and so on..

Put on the whole armour of God, that is to choose to follow Him, not religion [as religion is full of evil deceiving spirits, a haunt of demons~] but become assured in His promises.

He is faithful when we are not!!.. His ways are not our ways~!!… Samson was a loser to his custom tailored devil Delilah~ he was imprisoned, treading out the grain on a chain…yet when you might have counted him out of the race….he was able to do more service to God at his death than in all his life!.. so dont get discouraged by what you may have already done. Spilled water can not be gathered up again by man.. only by act of God…

That sinner on the cross, beside Jesus, admitted he deserved death according to all he had done in his own life, but before his death saw the glory of God in Jesus and that Jesus was innocent , so he testified to the more evil man on the other cross to stop mocking God through Jesus…

That man was forgiven eternally and rewarded with paradise. Just as Jesus spoke about the workers in the vineyard that some come in at the last hour and are paid the same as those who worked all along…God WILL have mercy on whom He will have mercy.. So we are not to judge by appearances but with RIGHT Judgement… There is only one Judge eternally..That is the one we are to fear and respect… That is the one who seeks our love and loved us before we were even born~!

BE asssured of the Father’s true  love for you.. He was never a cruel taskmaster as the devils would have you think! He loves you and wants you to love Him and He is able to hold you up in the hour of your greatest trial. Before you even enter into trials and temptations.

He already has prepared a way for you to escape the wrath to come…Jesus said His yoke was easy. A yoke is your burden, what you carry with you through life, whether in bondage like Samson or in peril like Job ~ it is custom tailored to clean out the impurities buried deep within your heart so that like dross being fired out of the silver, makes the silver pure, it is then fashionable into a vessel fit for honor..

That honor is eternal life with Jesus~ You are saved. It can be coined to be predestined, by those who can’t touch your spirit.That is the demons who influence your thoughts with hate that they can not destroy your eternal spirit and that God is upholding you in this life.

You are saved and no one can snatch you out of HIS hand…but the evil thoughts of demons may suggest for your pollution that you can do as you please which equals embracing their foul thoughts and leading you back into sin..

Each one is lured and enticed by their own desire[ the part of your mind that considers some earthly profit and momentary pleasures that displease God] that when conceived[ that is taken into account and decided on within your mind, to embrace and become one with= spiritual fornication= choosing what God said not to] gives birth to Sin[ which , when full grown[becomes your nature] brings for death[because you chose not to follow the Holy One but instead followed the lusts[enticements] of your own heart.

To be such a person, means you reject what God would have you do and willfully choose to do wrong. A person who willfully chooses to do wrong, without conscience, does not even care what God wants.

Such a person has a seered conscience and has rejected the Holy Spirit~ blasphemied in the sence of not listening to or yielding to what is right and noble in God’s way~ and a child of God, does not behave this way. As such the child of God does not sin.[1Jn3:6] but is remorseful and repents from such sins and then goes on in the race to endure to the end.

 The devils would remain as the accuser of the brethren, heaping guilt and self condemnation and other negative oppressing thoughts, to cause you to embrace own and give up on the mercy of God.That is their job~ to bring about your destruction.

 They are liars from the father of lies- satan- and will never tell you the truth, but are there to torment you into despair and doubt. They wiull encourage you to do evil things that do not please God. They seek to delude and deceive you. Look how such devils convince a godless people to become terrorists and suicide bombers, how their god  is nothing  more than an angel of light masquerading as god, giving them a form of  religion…  one of hate, revenge, power and elitism! You know who they are!

Doubt entering your mind is thought that comes from an evil spirit and a person who yields to Doubt will be led into captivity.

There are spirits , biblically known as Legion[for we are many they boast] with many traits, custom tailored to lure and entice you out of the way to bring you to ruin.

Not to say God can’t save you from them, but they can cause you to detour and take a harder path in life that is less glorifying to your Heavenly Father…

Remember those who lead many to righteousness will shine like the stars in heaven~! Heaping up spiritual rewards is what we are to be seeking to do…trying to please the Father…while our tormentors try earnestly to put our lights out and discredit and ruin us, trying to make fools out of us.

WE dont want to be those who are ashamed when judgement comes, not that we wont be saved, but that we will see all the time we wasted in idle pursuits where the devil got some browny points in being able to further disrespect God. Even the Prodigal makes it through~ God can save to the uttermost those who come to Him through Jesus…

 When giving into an evil, religious type spirit of despair, doubt or guilt ~ remember that God still loves you~~LOVES~~ not in the human conditional way, but in His way- Jesus is the way~ so REJECT AND RENOUNCE ALL EVIL THOUGHTS THAT CAPTIVATE YOUR HEART AND MIND~ Which is to REPENT- reject evil and commit to do right, according to HIS Word…

You are already empowered to do so through Jesus’ NAME…which is to reckon and decide that He is the way, the truth and the life and no man can come to the Father except by HIM…

Under no other name given among men can a man be saved. He is faithful even when we are not. Jesus once said ” O you faithless generation!’…fully aware of the hold the enemy has on man collectively, so that Jesus came to seek out the lost, individually healing people to demonstrate the power the Father has given to Him..

All power honor and glory belong to Jesus as our Lord and Savior, Mediator between God and Man, Prince of Peace, Lord of Lords~ over all. Never doubt your salvation.Flaunt it!! When the devil inspires doubt, despair or confusion or guilt~ RENOUNCE and REJECT it…

Guilt comes from the devil to bring about surrender and live condemned on earth embracing damnation, calling God a liar in that He cant save you that you are too far gone etc, which in effect is calling God a liar and leads to blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and hell.

Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit to bring about your redemption and to steer you away from the errors of your way…Never to condemn you but to bring you to repentance and into the eternal security of God’s love for you so that you can tell others of the wonderful love of the Father and be his witness.

Its not about works, but then again faith[cornerstone of trusting in Jesus] without works [still in bondage to sin] is dead [ because you cherish iniquity in your heart rather than God- who shares the throne with no one- light cant fellowship with darkness]…So be at peace with your maker, your Lord and Savior, enjoy salvation – your freedom from damnation and don’t let the devil steal your joy as you meet various trials as they only serve to make you stronger and more dedicated in your service to your Creator.

So it is not very easy to lose your salvation, because so long as it is day, the Holy Spirit will continue to draw you back into the light of God’s love and provision for you. If you were among those ‘destined’ for destruction your conscience wouldn’t be tugging at your heart the way it does… 🙂

GBU~! Ave

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The Great Counterfeiter~!


As the great counterfeiter, satan was furious at the Tower of Babel when he had all the people united with Nimrod to defy God by not only building the Tower against God’s will , but in daring to shoot an arrow up towards Heaven, symbolically wanting to slay the Lord…So because it was ordained before time that Israel was to be a nation of God’s people and were yet to be born, the Lord scattered their tongues, breaking their communications and causing division, allowing time to intercede and his nation to be born.

In Sarah was the promise, her seed not Hagar’s! Ishmael sought the inheritance and has been after it ever since.His descendents, counterfeit of Isaac’s descendents fight to gain the blessing to try and take the kingdom of Heaven by force~ as counterfeits, as envoys from Babylon, they seek to pretend to serve God calling Him, Allah, but Allah is the angel of light- the spirit of antichrist – the deceiver of nations, even those born into it are deceived into thinking they are doing ‘god’ a service, but their god is not our God! John 8:44 describes their mandate spiritually, they will come and do as they did to Hezekiah, pretending concern so as to gain the secrets of the treasury and cost Hezekiah the kingdom! Their time may be short, but they are coming into it as a descendent of Ishmael is on the rise. That charismatic false peace maker is coming. The nations will love him as the world loves its own ~ under the guise of peace and humanity he will deceive the nations and when he has seized power, the mask will come off and all who haven’t bowed to him will be sought out and persuaded as a famine of the Word will come and the hearts of  most grow cold and weary wondering when He will return for us.The evil one like Absalom will gain the hearts of many people. He would fool the world and the very elect if it were possible.

WE all will have a Job like experience, we all will pass through the flood and the fires of this life, but we are told to fear not for He is with us and His rod and staff will comfort us. We are to continue and study showing ourselves approved, rightly dividing the Word of God! WE are to put on that whole armor of God and listen to that still small voice~ WE are to tests the spirits and hold fast to that which is ‘good’ as we take every ‘thought’ captive and choose each day whom we will serve~

We must decrease, as He must increase, we are to try and learn what is pleasing to the  Lord and as we put to death the deeds of the flesh we can put on the mind of Christ and no longer be double minded as those who receive nothing from God almighty.We must stand fast, being assured of the blessed hope we have in HIM and not listen to those seducing familiar religious spirits that satan has mingled into the churches today bringing their false doctrines of demons along with them with their thus saith the lords… speaking words but not HIS, prophesying lies and causing each to do what is right in their own eyes, without seeking the will of the Father in their lives..A great falling away is coming among those who hold a form of religion but through their live’s actions, deny the power of it! The warning went out to the 7 churches in Revelations and is a warning to us as well that we must prepare the way of the Lord!

This generation is growing up not ‘knowing’ God. A man’s enemies will be that of his own household, including the household of faith. Satan has caused divisions and lies to grow in like weeds in the garden of our Lord and Jesus said that the spirit of antichrist was already at work, even back when Jesus was preparing to go back to the Father!

How many men have killed one another, thinking they were doing God a service?  Satan, that counterfeiter has been playing god and making the church his tower of babel so, confusing the speech of the people and breaking unity to prevent men from knowing how to seek God. For lack of knowledge, my people go into exile~ for lack of knowledge my people perish….
Purify your hearts you sinners we are told to cleanse our minds and to stop being double minded as the battle for our souls is ongoing in our own hearts and minds! The enemy is a whisperer, a deceiver and lures and entices us by own own desires ever planting thoughts in our heads for us to choose to indulge in. That causes men to sin and sin when full grown will bring forth death!
We are to renounce all the workings of satan in our lives if we are to expect to be joint heirs with Jesus. Jn 3:36 says he who believes in the Son has everlasting life, but also says, ‘he who dont not obey the Son [some translations say does not believe the Son] shall NOT see life but the wrath of God rests upon him and it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God!…
Paul’s said o wretched man that I am…and so are we ~!…For me to live is Christ and to die is GAIN~ how many of us are prepared to put our lives where our words are? How many rather hear smooth speech and not deal with their responsibility to study word and know well the condition of God’s flock?

How do we hear that still small voice of the Holy Spirit? God shares the throne with no one, especially satan. He had him cast out of heaven when he tried to seize the throne….Know ye not we are the temple of the Holy Spirit? What then are we to do…?…WE are to renounce our wicked ways!! WE are to renounce the workings of satan in our lives.. All those subtle spirits that entertain our thoughts, our unspoken thoughts…Jesus said that for a man to even look on a woman , that if he lusted in his heart , he has already committed adultery! That example speaks to our minds!….The battle for our eternal salvation is in our minds, not our whitewashed outer tombs!!
What are the workings of satan in our lives?What is it that we are to renounce ? How do we know that it is the Holy Spirit that is speaking to us to guide us into all truth?…[by taking heed according to the Word…]

The heart is deceitful and desperate to be corrupt! Secret sins in our members~ outwardly clean but the cup is full of iniquity!We can go through the motions and continue to deceive ourselves, but then how will we stand in the jungle of the Jordan, when we cant stand up against the wrong in our own hearts? The Lord searches the hearts and minds of men~ even if our heart condemns us, He is greater than our hearts and if we repent- if MY people who are called by MY Name, humble themselves and PRAY, I will forgive them their sins  and cleanse them from all manner of unrighteousness….How can we do this? How do we face ourselves and stand up and choose Jesus?
These people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from Me….

Jesus spoke to the man with demons and asked his name…Legion, for we are many….Jesus cast Legion out and they went into the swine and jumped off the cliff….A legion is comprised of many soldiers~ The devil is at war with the saints and never sleeps or slumbers but is ever about roaming like a lion seeking whom he may devour~

There is no discharge from the ‘war’, nor will wickedness deliver those who are given to it. To the pure He shows Himself Pure, but to the ‘crooked’ He shows Himself ‘perverse’ [or crooked, such as people blaming God when things go wrong in their lives  or take matters into their own hands rather than listening to the Holy Spirit, choosing to do it their way, BUT we are warned ” My thoughts are not your thoughts says the Lord ~ nor My ways are your ways”…

Paul said, O wretched man that I am…remember??

So we are to renounce the workings of satan in our lives…we are to clean our house and guard the door so the thief can not enter in and make us 7 times worse~than when we began….

Or we can say Lord Lord we did many works, in Your name, but He will say ‘begone’ I don’t know you!!Repent.. How do we repent? By renouncing the workings of satan in our lives!! How… ?
What is your name, Jesus asked and when told, he cast satan out! He wasn’t asking the demoniac ‘his’ name but He was asking for the ‘name[s]’ of the devils that were leading the man astray and taking him out of his ‘right ‘ mind~ as all who could see the man knew he was naked before the Lord….

Name them, cast them out,lock the door, trim your lamp, preserve the oil of the Holy Spirit by whom you were annointed by on the day you called Christ your Lord….
Unveil yourself, remove that mask of self righteousness!  Get naked before the Lord and remove those whitewashed tombstones and let the dead bury the dead while you come back to life in Him…

Recognize them, name them and cast them out… the spirit of self righteousness, the spirit of pride, the spirit of condemnation, the spirit of calamity, the spirit of deceit, the spirit of ‘religion’, the spirit of hate, the spirit of  envy, the spirit of strife, the spirit of greed, the spirit of gluttony, the spirit of malice, the spirit of depression, the spirit of defeat, the spirit of fear,the spirit of confusion,the spirit of bearing false witness, the spirit of false prophecy, the spirit of coersion, the spirit of falsehood, the spirit of false religion, the spirit of pretense,the spirit of rage, the spirit of anxiety,the spirit of disobedience, the spirit of rejection, the spirit of lust, the spirit of jealousy, the spirit of murder, the spirit of prejudice, the spirit of racism, the spirit of haughtiness, the spirit of deception, the spirit of lies, the spirit of pride, the spirit of laziness, the spirit of control, the spirit of manipulation, the spirit of ego, the spirit of self-centered-ness, the spirit of guilt, the spirit of war, the spirit of anger, the spirit of wickedness, the spirit of compromise, the spirit of revenge, the spirit of chaos, the spirit of destruction, the spirit of immorality, the spirit of doubt, the spirit of elitism, the spirit of deafness, the spirit of blindness, the spirit of cowardess, the spirit of narcissism, the spirit of betrayal, the spirit of drunkeness, the spirit of doubleminded-ness, the spirit of divination, the spirit of witchcraft, the spirit of rebellion , the spirit of greed, the spirit of surrender, the spirit of condemnation, the spirit of woe, the spirit of hate together with all the others, named and unnamed together in tandem custom lured by your own desires, that if  you continue to allow them one room in the house of your mind, you can not please God your Father~

Repent, open your hearts to God and lay yourself at the foot of the cross and renounce the workings of satan in your life! Be healed and freed in the name of Jesus! Embrace your salvation, go and sin no more,making disciples of all the nations…starting with the nation of your own heart. Be washed by the water of the Word!  receive the continual cleansing with the living waters – repent and be baptized by the Holy Spirit, not holding a form of religion but being pure religion, before God our Father, visiting  not only the physical widows, but the spiritual ones as well, those who have lost their husband …those who have lost God in their lives and  backslid…visit the orphans, including the spiritual orphans, those who have no Father …so they can experience the adoption of God~! but to all who received HIM who believed [obeyed] in HIS Name[Jesus} He gave POWER to become Children of God~ who were ‘born’ not of man but of the will of God…. He is willing that none should perish,BUT that ALL come unto repentance~taste and see that the Lord is good~

Then you will experience that peace that surpasses understanding as the weight of the ‘world’ will be lifted off your shoulders as Jesus said His yoke is  easy ~ and once we can face ourselves, naked and unashamed before God, not hiding from him but being able to boldly come before the throne of grace~

ALL that the Father gives to Me will come to Me and him who comes to Me, I will NOT cast out…The sooner we believe He loves us and cares for us and is concerned for us, the sooner we cast out all doubt and doubleminded-ness, the sooner we will be able to fully embrace the Love of God in our lives and be able to witness it to others….

This is what the Lord has done for me in my life! He has given me an ear to hear and spiritual eyes to see and the ear tries words like the palate tastes food. Every Word of the Lord proves true…

GBU~!
Ave

How should we pray to God and when and what to pray for??


We all are to pray and are equally ale to come before the throne of grace.

Our salvation is the gift and we are told to pray one for another and to pray without
ceasing.

Let everything that  has breath praise the Lord.
Reminded that there are many hindering spirits out therewhose job it is  to try and stop
us from praying as we should, along with a spirit of doubt and others that try to prevent us from approaching God in prayer.

We need to first resist the spirits  to doubt and fear and trust like Jesus did when he said he thanked his Father who hears his prayers always since Jesus told us greater things can we do as we follow him, prayer being our greatest weapon against evil we are told to ask for what we will without doubt or being double minded as the double minded receive
nothing from God.

When I finally began to pray more effectively, it was when I was healed back in 1987 along with my sons when I asked a pastor to pray for us as I felt my prayers wouldn’t be good enough or maybe not heard. I doubted! I was double minded.
The Holy Spirit however taught me a lesson that day, that those thoughts that go through our heads that tend to prevent us from praying as we should are from the devil to cause us to doubt or feel too unworthy or be double minded with disbelief or prejudging God’s
response so as to not feel sincere enough to commit to the prayer itself and simply ask our heavenly Father that whatever it is, if it be his will and not my own if he would like when dealing with Hezekiah, not necessarily answer my prayer because of my words but to
answer it for his name sake and glory. So I had to tell God that I was experiencing doubt and tld him that I believed but to help my unbelief.. He did! I prayed and accepted God’s mercy, humbly and was healed.

If praying with the motivation to seek what is pleasing to God for the person or request of the prayer, as long as it is to place the decision into the hands of God while trusting in his judgement to be as what will bring him glory and honor that I trust him to do what is
right regardless to how I see it since his ways arent my ways etc., that it makes it easy to pray for a right reason. WE are reminded to examine ourselves carefully, check our motives and to pray with right motives. We can even ask God to give us that right motivation and cleanse our speach- touch our tongues with that spiritual coal of fire of the Holy Spirit!

For example, I wouldn’t pray for a new mercedes benz or a new color tv or for something that I am jealous of that someone else has.[like that old song from the 70’s]i wouldnt pray for worldly treasures or to satisy mine or someone’s quest for power or position, although for example if there were a saved politician [?}I would pray that God’s will be done
in his life and that he be elected IF it will give God glory. I would also pray that if it is not God’s will that he not grant the request and trust him over myself.

I would pray for revelation of his will for me or others or spiritual wisdom in a matter to do what would be best and seek God’s will in different situations. I would pray for forgiveness, mercy, direction  and strength to do his will and that even in everyday life as attempting to live peacefully with all men that he be center and foremost in my decisions no matter how trivial they may be.

It is easy when caught up in day to day humdrum to neglect to pray or to put it off or even feel inadequate to present requests and to make them known before the Lord. He knows anyway, but waits for us to ‘ask’. That sometimes means swallowing our spiritual and or human pride.

Praying confidently and while trusting the Lord is something we all need to do and embrace as we are all told to pray without ceasing.

It is always easier to humanly surrender our tongues to our own minds and thoughts, but just as his thoughts arent our thoughts, neither are ours since the enemy is a whisperer always adding in his 2 cents to our minds in seeing negative or the wrong way to handle a
situation which will easily supply us with justifications [ hath God saids?] in order to appeal to our desires & lusts and thus cause us to sin, disappointment and even despair and guilt.

The Holy Spirit will convict us of our sins in order to bring about repentence. The devil however will slam us with guilt and shame and cause us to run and hide from God, breaking fellowship with him. Once estranged, we become targets easily sought, so even when we make a mistake and sin, we should still run right to the father and ask forgiveness and try to make peace with whomever we sinned against if possible.

One of the biggest word assaults we get from the enemy is to use snap judgements and to speak without thinking. How many times when say my temper was flared that I would blurt out an insult at someone that wasn’t in agreement with me! I think we all have done such at similar times..but the bible tells us to guard our words and to let our speech always be gracious and seasoned with salt.. a spiritual etiquette that most lack at some points in their daily struggles.

Humanly speaking, it is easier to ‘snap out’ and condemn someone than to try to understand them and or speak civilly to them to resolve a matter. Pride and temper cause us to make matters worse when we walk away without resolving the matter.
Communications is everything nowadays and miscommunications lead to most of the problems we experience with others.A brother can be more unyielding when they have been wronged or perceive that they have been wronged.

Flip the coin and we are reminded that it is better to suffer wrong than to retaliate, so ‘honing in’ on our spiritual walk and relationship with Jesus is an ever learning process for us all.

We are also told to be slow to speak, slow to anger but that too is an area that most of us have been weakened to at some point.

With all this and what we say and do, ever idle word we will be held accountable for, as we learn to speak right and edifying to one another, we should also find it easier to speak to our Lord and to be able to pray without ceasing as we continue to resist the devil and
therefore the impulses to mis-speak that he readily supplies to slip off our tongues in moments of frustration anger or weakness.

Learning to pray as we ought also teaches us to esteem one another as worthy since Jesus died for each of us. Suffering a wrong rather than making someone out to be an offender by perhaps the way they talk or appear is also a consideration as we are admonished not to judge by the obvious appearances but with right judgement and told to get logs out of our own eyes before we attempt to pluck a splinter out of someone elses, so again
let everyone be slow to anger and slow to speak and lets all guard our tongues and continue to pray for one another giving thanks always and rejoicing that God actually made it all very simple for us to serve him when we do it his way.~!

GBU~!
Ave

Marriage…divorce…God….? What about it?


I think people lock themselves into ‘words’ and the ‘lawand not the spirit of the words.

What actually is a marriage anyway?

Cant a person easily recite a sinners prayer in a church, at an emotional or deceptive moment and walk away, [like the seed along the rocky road] and never grow? .. an insincere verbal commitment perhaps??

Was that  person ever really ‘saved’ or is that person ‘backslid’ and/ or apostate ?

Likewise how  many people have entered into a legal marital union thinking they understood the committment, yet found they didnt even understand each other?

How many mistake lust  for love? 


How come so many quickly fall out of love when the honeymoon is over?

Like the love God has for us, which is pure and holy, how many actually have a marriage that starts out that way or remains that way?
Divorce is rampant.

Infidelity is considered normal in the world.

Adultery is encouraged by society as a whole. Look at TV..

Still that vulnerable little plant of love that one ‘can feel for another’ and then ‘marry’ can sometimes last a  lifetime as evidenced by people who have remained married over 50 yrs and still have a twinkle in their eyes for one another….they seem to be the exception to the rule anymore..

The dirty devil has polluted every facet of life and religion that he can and never ceases to devise ways to torment God’s people.

We all are sinners and all make mistakes and often out of guilt, fear or ignorance can remain in an ungodly marriage for decades because they believe it is God’s will not to divorce..

Well it is also God’s will not to steal, kill or be a glutton, but those are sins the eyes get winked at.

It is easier to receive a death row reject who found religion and listen to such a one than to accept a person who has had a heartfelt change and a new or better relationship with Christ but has a divorce on their record.

I knew one such couple that had a great music ministry and were allowed to perform at church but because both had been  previously divorced, legalistic members would never allow them to be names as official music ministry members, which eventually led them to leave.

In another instance the pastor’s 16 yr old daughter shockingly got pregnant so he married her to her boyfriend to make it ‘right’….

3 yrs later at the ripe age of 19 they split up.

She was allowed to be the music minister of that church, simply because she was the only one who could play the piano [ gotta love a country church~] that went on well til she was mid 20’s and fell in ‘love’ again

Now to remarry, her dad had the dilemma on how to justify it, since the bible says so much against divorce and then remarriage, especially for a woman.

They decided to call her ex – gay~ After all, he once was quoted as saying he would rather be with a man than to ever have anything to do with her again… so he just had to be gay… [couldnt have been her constant attacks and her 400 lb stature]….no couldnt be…could  it?

This compromise and legalistic justification seeking,  on her dad, the pastor’s part eventually led to him leaving the pastorate, as he couldnt legalize everything he was so ignorant of.

So the point I am trying to make is that God has called us to peace but with the devil’s intervention on our ‘browns’ ,has interfered in our relationship not only with God but in every facet of life, primarily in marriages since God has called the marriage bed to remain undefiled and often it is not.

Jesus said that divorce was allowed because of the hardness of heart but only justifiable in cases of adultery…

Now consider spiritual adultery and God divorcing Israel because she went after the baals… false religion, defiling the spiritual marriage bed with the devil..his devices primarily… like changing animal sacrifices for sacrileges and temple desecrations, or the marriage bed defiled by adultery with another husband [ or wife whoever it is that commits the adultery]… and is adultery merely the sexual act??? 

Not necessarily… since it is a break in faith with the one you are married to and consummated symbolically by the sexual act [ or joining of house to house]..

It can also be, as to look to another with the eye, as Jesus said to look at a woman wrongly is to already have committed adultery in their heart… so it is more than mere ignorant infidelity.

So what if you are legally married on paper but have a spouse who has not committed their soul to you?

Isnt it the same as a person mouthing the sinners prayer insincerely?

I think there are people who are considered ‘legally married’ but have failed to be married in the eyes of God since He searches the hearts and minds of men[and women] and knows us better than we know ourselves.

Some churches out and out reject a divorced person but embrace a repentent murderer.

Other churches split hairs and will allow a divorced person if they were divorced prior to getting saved.

Still some churches will allow a divorced & remarried couple to attend but not become members or anyone of importance.

God has called us to peace, but Spirit of Religion has wormed its way into Christianity and the devil with his ‘has not God saids’ has managed to manipulate even churches who claim to know the grace of God and walk by it, take exception to those who are divorced without regard to whether they ever were or werent truly married in the eyes of God.

Why is it then, that many churches will recognize that a sinner who nonrepentently says a sinners prayer in another church will be required to ‘get saved over again’ or baptized in another church ‘over again‘ … not recognizing the previous feeble perhaps attempt, but will hold a past marriage in an iron clad condemnation?

Better yet, that person is considered to not being capable of managing his own household and therefore not allowed to be a pastor or preacher…

If all the exceptions were to ever be considered, who could ever stand before a church and be counted worthy at all?

GBU~! Ave

A Word from the Lord Jesus to whoever will listen……..


Who will hear what has been said?

Who will yield to fulfill My Word?

Who will stand when I bring this test?

Do not lean to the left or to the right!

Do not hide within the pit of shadows~

Come out from the shadows-

Stand before Me and walk!!

Walk in My Light, I am the Way~

Pick up your pace to follow Me.

Look up and behold ~ I make all things new!

The shadows vanish before the brightness of My Light.

Walk into My Light.

Do not stray to the left or to the right.

Follow Me!

Do not delay~

Who is worthy to be My servant?

Who is able to come to Me?

He who doesn’t bend his knee nor wink his eye to the shadows~!

Do not turn to the left or to the right!

Do not turn back into the shadows.

Walk into my light.

I make your path straight and narrow- it’s true-

I gird your loins with strength.

I give you sight to see My path.

I make your lameness vanish.

You hear My praise in your heart.

You hear My Words pass your lips.

You see My works by your hands.

Your labors will not be in vain.

Vanity for all who stray from My Light.

No striving after wind as you follow Me!

Don’t look away-

Who will swing his sword to defend My word?

Who will stand with Me and speak My glory?

Who will carry his brother into the chambers of My court?

Who will take the hand of the blind and say , “This is the way, let’s walk in it, together.”

Carry My brother, shout My arrival as I come & I come soon.

I am coming for you who have not departed from the way, who have not strayed

into the shadows.

Keep looking to the light , My light.

Keep walking on My path. My Way is the only Way.

I will lead you, I protect you.

Do not turn to the left or to the right.

Do not be frightened of what You see along the way

and in the shadows.

I have brought you and paid the price of your passage.

Discard your burdens for I have lifted them.

Let go , let go of your troubles as they will not come with you.

They hinder you from your walk. They draw you back to the shadows.

Do not lean to the left or to the right.

Do not look into the shadows.

Follow Me~! Seek Me~! Look to My Light.

Do not yield to the taunting voices.

Do not call upon the past~

I am the same , today, tomorrow and forever. I know My sheep .

Know me~! Come to Me~!

Take My hand~ Do not resist My Holy Spirit!

Do not delay. Do not wait to bury the dead,

I am alive forevermore. Where I am My servant will be also.

Be with me~

Do not look away- trust in Me.

Hear My voice- Listen to no others~

Shut the door to the shadows.

Let night not overcome you.

I have overcome the shadows……

I have looked into the Light.

I have not strayed from the path.

I have not bowed my knee to trials.

I have run the race and passed the finish……

I know the Way and am showing you, calling you, leading you , guiding you.

I protect you . My angels encamp about you.

Do not listen to the voices of the shadows~…….

A letter to a pagan friend who doubts God….


Albert[name  changed for this blog] is an aquaintence who lives in my old town.Recently he lost his wife and has issues over God.

As our level of communication has come to religion, he told me that he is a pagan and worships trees…

Knowing this is because of the pain in his life and not perceiving God to answer him when he ‘needed him’, becoming a pagan is more a frustrated result of feeling himself rejected by God and so thumbs his nose at God by claiming to worship trees..

Albert is an artist and seems he has been fashioning gods in his own images…

He has claimed to resent the hypocrisy he met in Christendom, which unfortunately, is true in the churches today as religious spirits have dominated the scene and have dispersed wormwood to believers and poison many in the flock..

Not to give up however, as we who claim to see, must make the difference and reach out the lost and hurting and bring them the love of Christ, without being ‘religious’… a tight rope walk at times, but Jesus ate and drank with sinners, much to the chigrin of his contemporaries and showed us that we are to become all things to all people  in the hope of bringing them to Christ as Paul wrote of..

So what I am posting here is part of the discourses, as they unfold, to share, to edify, to be accountable with so that we all can learn and possibly help one another as we gain opportunities to witness for Christ… albeit it is mixed with social human stuff.. .but that is part of the deal too….:) GBU~!Ave

Hi Albert~
Totally understand and relate to where you are coming from. The Bible was/is misused by many if not most who used it to overpower others…I particularly resent the prosperity preachers...and those who think they can treat God like a genie in the bottle and ‘speak their fortunes into existence’.. all nonsense and gimmicks!

In and of itself however , the Bible has so much truth in it that I havent ever seen elsewhere!

I dont get religious, but I dont throw the baby out with the bath water either.. Historically Jesus was real [just like Mohammad?] and other religious leaders in pivotal points of history.Each had impacts.

The difference in Jesus, is he not only claimed to be the son of God, but willingly sacrificed himself for the salvation of mankind,

where as Mohamad was a pedifile, plunderer, rapist and unmerciful murderer… modern day or old days a lying, pedifile, murderer is still a piece of crap!

There was a teenage girl recently stoned to death because she liked a boy from a different religion! It just happened in northern Iraq.

Islam is barberism, unmerciful destroyers trying to conquer Israel.

But on the otherhand, Jesus only did good..made the blind see, the lame walk,deaf hear, healed epileptics, mental illness, demon possessed and so much more..

So just because ‘religious’ people have basically cornered the market on teaching the bible [to their own gain], the bible even spoke of them as hirelings, in it for the profit..Jesus called them hypocrites .
There are things in the bible that are explorable humanly scientifically and very deep and interesting.. hard to explain for just a man written book!

Like in Job their are scientific statements about the jetstream and rivers under the ocean!

They were only discovered in the last 100 years, so how could it have been mentioned in that ancient book ???

Or the earth ‘turning on its axis’ – while people still thought the earth was flat and that planets and sun revolved around the earth,

BUT in  the book of Job spoke the truth, scientifically correct!

How can an unschooled person from ancient times know such things as the earth rotating on its axis?..unless God through his Spirit told him or ‘inspired’ him, as the bible is said to be inspired by God????This offers more proof that the Bible is more than a mere book written  by men…

Some say Job was written before the books of Moses!..

There are also verses that indicate the earth was round and not flat, but people used to think the world was flat!! So how would a writer know it was round without a way to prove it scientifically?

There are little things tucked into it that predict things that have since happened and there is alot of wisdom concerning human nature in it that is applicable today… talked about pestilence, volcanoes, earth quakes and weather phenomenom that is only being understood in the passed century.

I look at it more as a survival manual in dealing with life and  people today and have gained a lot of keen insights from it, so I tend to think that maybe it was ‘divinely’ inspired and the writers were more like ‘ghost writers’ and granted, even with some minor language variations, reinterpretations and all, since it was written line by line, much of any bible you pick up will still have the same subliminal message which is a positive one…

So if God is real and the Holy Spirit speaks to some, he can and would protect his Word,why would he only go so far and not keep it as he intended it to be?

The bible no matter how many people have tried to change it, is still the same story and teaches the same principals on how to treat others and to get right with God..

So you can worship a tree,[bible even talks about that!!] climb a tree, plant a tree, eat its fruits, cut down a tree,carve a tree into an idol, burn a tree and when all is said and done, it is still only wood [or ashes]

Although it can provide shelter, warmth and pleasure to look at and even some fruit to eat, it is still after all is said and done a tree!..

It is a convenient or  good diversion and shield that some use to ward off facing deeper realities, but not uncommon…

Accountability is something we all need to have but many want to run around without accountability and act like they are the only one that matters, but in fact we are all part of the picture.

Everyone has a purpose…

So have any BBQ today? WE just kicked back and enjoyed .

James went out fishing and Kyle returned from his date.

I slept a good part of the day away as I was up all night online.

Now I am just getting ready to cook something… probably cheesburgers, but seems boring.. I was thinking that I should have picked up a cube of beer yesterday, but didn’t, so now I am bored….lol…not sure about what to do tomorrow…probably some art.

I dont want you to think because you choose trees, that I would try to get religious on you or try to convert you or something!

There is alot going on in life to not have to strain on certain differences of opinion and core beliefs..

Actions speak louder than words and you can judge me by my actions rather than any possible sterotyped Christian you have met...

I wish there were a better word to use rather than calling myself a Christian, since that name nowadays, is offensive to so many and  even leaves a tinny taste in my mouth sometimes..due to religion.. I dont like religion…at least all the hypocritical ones that turn so many off to God..

Anyway, are you making any leighway on your [artwork]??? How tall is she?? How are you making her?Is she wood or metal?

You aren’t the first professed pagan I have ever met…I have known other pagans..

Each gravitated to that because they didnt find the answers they were looking for in religion and said for the most part religion is BS….

[I hope I am not sounding a bit bipolar here???LOL}

It is just that in my life and mind and heart I have distinguished what is real to me and what is bull and I still ‘admire’ Jesus as a truly giving and wonderful human being when he was on earth and certainly very influencial after he left earth.. I think he was more than human and by the writings in the Bible fortelling his coming, his mission and what he accomplished, since all that proved to be true, thus far, I have more data to conclude that what he said about the future from this point in time on is also going to be true…the facts speak for themselves, Jesus has credibility, as does the Bible.

So I think I would rather believe in Him who has never lied that what he did and said/says can be proven, as opposed to those who do lie and can be proven as liars, like fortune tellers and other faiths, like Islam…

Since He also was raised from the dead and Josephus and Eusebius and other historical books have records of it, then he disappeared from earth, with historical accounts made of people seeing him go up into the sky, after making promises of a return, I have no reason, at least from my studies, to disbelieve since many of the prophecies he made for the times to come are in fact still coming true..

If he were just a man, then how would he be so able to predict so many things to happen in the future that have happened since his death and resurrection and are still happening and how well he knew human nature and always wanted to promote positive goodness in others trying to show them how to approach the real  God?!

Conversely, Mohamad is a proven thief and murderer and the bible even predicted that Ishmael was going to be a wild donkey of a man always at war with his brothers.. Ishmael was 1/2 brother to Isaac and was not of God’s promise so he didnt inherit but has been fighting against Isaac ever since.. Hagar his mother was an Egyptian and taught him her ways and hatred for Sara and her offspring!

That ancient rivalry is causing the terrorism we see today.

Ishmael is father of Islam/Muslims and Isaac is father of the Israelites/Jews and to this day they war against one another and Ishmael is still trying to seize Jerusalem the symbolic representation of God’s promise..
When I think about it, it  actually takes more FAITH not to believe than to believe in Jesus..

Have a good afternoon… [As time progresses, you will find that there are many facets to my diamond, lol]

I look forward to talking to you more .

Lady Madonnah[Ave]

If someone commits suicide, do they always go to hell???


Does everyone who commits suicide go to hell???
I look back to the sinner on the cross next to Jesus. His fate was
sealed, he was dying! He still was saved by Jesus…

I don’t condone suicide.Of course it is wrong, but what leads a person to commit it is as important as to why they commit it.

Whether they succeed [in killing themself]or are spared [failed suicide attempt] is another consideration.

God is the judge, not man as to where they go.Most forget that and pass judgements on those who commit suicide, usually erroneously damning them to hell, because we are told in the bible to not judge by the outward appearance but instead with right judgement… If we judged by appearance then that sinner on the cross alongside Jesus would have certainly gone to hell, but scripture tells us that Jesus promised him paradice. I rather believe Jesus over man…

When I was young, I have seriously tried it many times myself to be amazed that I woke up alive a few days later!!!

Many of the health issues I have today are results from past attempts,BUT I am hear to tell about it.

In fact before I was ‘saved’ by the grace of God, through Jesus sacrifice on the cross for my sins, I believed God was dead!! Now I know better.God is alive and well and coming to judge the living and the dead some day.

It was the early 70’s and the Viet Nam war was costing more and more lives, immorality was rampant,drugs everywhere….morals wre breaking down, ban the bra movement along with the hippie movement.. decadence was coming into power in our nation as values dissappeared.

At my job on Wall St., one day a black co worker named Jack Gaddy was on the phone and suddenly, screamed and fell to the floor crying inconsolably. He received the call no parent ever wants. His apt in Harlem had a fire and his two children aged 2 & 4 had burned to death.

My parents home burned down the Christmas before and I was able to save my brothers and sisters along with my older sisters help. I had nighmares however, wondering what it would have been like had we left one behind? We had 13 kids in the family back then and it could have
happened. Now this…

I went to the funeral.

2 babies burnt to death in an apt fire.

Other co-workers went as well and we were told we were there for support and reminded not to cry.

I stopped in a bar before entering the funeral home and downed a couple of scotches to help me keep control of my
emotions…

The minister was very emotional and said ” No longer will these children have to face the hustle and bustle of NYC- no longer have to face the trials and tribulations of this world“…. [and on and on]

After the funeral, I downed some more scotch to keep brave as I had done before the funeral…

Seeing those little white caskets sealed with those tiny babies dead inside, I railed at God saying “How could you do such a thing?” as I heard echos in my mind of that poor mother and grandmother screaming inconsolably at the funeral,” OH GOD GIVE ME BACK MY BABIES, GIVE ME BACK MY BABIES!!” it still echoes in my mind today..

That could have been my mother crying…

That night I went home and decided to go to ‘mass’ as I was then a Catholic and light some candles.

I couldn’t shake the emotionalism of that black Baptist funeral in Harlem…Those words of the minister rang in my mind…I had never been to what I would have called a ‘Protestant Service’ , but 2 babies belonging to a co-worker were dead and it was all too heartbreaking.

I didnt want to face the hustle and bustle of NYC either!!!

I didnt want to live in such a rotten world with a ‘god’ that let little babies die, so horribly and felt if he didnt spare them what hope would I ever have???

I knew suicide was a pass straight to hell according to Catholic belief. I wasnt certain if it existed or if we were all already living in it..but didnt want to directly try it.

After the mass, I was up front in the church and lit some candles to a Mother Mary statue and was saying some prayers with tears in my eyes…

I stared at the statue when suddenly I actually saw a smokey like vapor take form around the head and a figure swaying all about the statue as it was trying to keep praying and avoiding this vaporish apparition

I became intrigued as this apparition took form and was  tormenting the praying statue of Mother Mary…I saw that with prayer she was withstanding this assault.

I blinked my eyes to clear them and yet the apparition remained moving about the statue as the statue began to sway from side to side while looking upwards towards heaven, obviously suffering and praying for relief!

I asked how can I resist the evil in this world , how can I escape it?

The statue looked down at me with a vaporous face that now moved and spoke to me! This was my first supernatural demonic encounter.

I thought it was Mother Mary~~~ I knew the stories of her appearing at Fatima  and such places to others and now I felt a strange peace that she was speaking to me~!

She told me that if I really wanted to leave this world that I wouldnt go to hell if I repented before I died

She said that I could go home, if I was serious, take all the pills I had in hand and shut my door- to let no one know and to present myself as a sacrifice.

To do it right, I was to be certain not to tell a soul as it must be kept secret or I could go to hell…I was to take those pills and then paint a picture of Jesus as my repentence~~

If I focused on Jesus that I would go to heaven

I had to obey her words exactly however or my sacrifice wouldnt be accepted

I went home and baracaded my bedroom door and took all the pills and began to paint a picture of Jesus.

I soon became entranced [by the medications] and struggled to stay awake painting this picture of Jesus, knowing I had to make it perfect since it was a gift for God himself~!

It became harder to remain awake, but I knew I had to keep painting.

It was a small painting and the paint got thicker and thicker becoming raised off the little canvas…

I kept making corrections and building on that face…. with thorns and blood… I couldnt get that image out of my mind, but I wasnt going to disobey Mother Mary

I was going to keep my focus on Jesus…. Hours passed…about 7 -8 hours since I took all the pills and began the
painting…

[[ I found out later after the fact, that had I gone to sleep I would have died~!]]

I could barely keep my eyes open but the painting didnt look finished..

Then a smokey apparition appeared over the image

I blinked my eyes to clear my sight… it stared back at me and the thorns suddenly merged upwards, formed horns and the eyes popped out at me and the mouth showed its teeth and chomped them at me~~~
I freaked…

It turned into Satan!~ I must have failed!!!

I took a palette knife and immediately scraped all the layers of paint off and looked at the canvas and saw what looked like Jesus in the shroud of Turin~~ eyes closed and dead!!!!

I put it down and then went to sleep…It was dawn.

I awoke and felt that I failed to obey Mary and sought to get more pills to try it again and do it right.

I was convinced I was supposed to die. After a few more attempts, I gave up and decided to live since I didnt die when I should have… { Jesus spared me!}

[[[It wasnt til years later that I realized that the devil comes as
an angel of light and this was in fact a demon that was leading me to
my death…

It wasn’t Mary, but a demon using her form…

 Jesus however knew that I loved him since I was young and spared my life
that day …]]]

Anyway several months later, I once again became dissillusioned with living after having been raped and beaten and date raped and more I thought about that last attempt and felt I should try it over..

This time I took 150 pills with a qt of scotch and a 1/4 qt bottle of vodka..

Again I was alone, living in my own apt with a roommate. I even wrote out a ‘will’ and goodbye letter for my family.

I took it all and technically died.

[Several years later in hospital, the doctors  saw evidence of an earlier heart attack, although I had never been treated for any heart condition up til that point.]

 I laid alone 3 days since my roommate went away for the weekend after I took all the pills…

I even had had a heart attack and developed bleeding ulcers.

I laid in my own mess from Friday night til Monday morning.

When I arose and realized my roommate never came home over the weekend, I went to step outside to find out what day it was and to use my neighbors phone.

I was worried about my roommate failing to return home and asked my neighbors to call the police so I could fill out a missing persons report…

One look at me and they called an ambulance..

AS I tried to argue not to go into the hospital, my roommate turned the corner walking towards us.

It looked like she was 3 ft off the ground. I thought she was a ghost.

I passed out and woke en route to the hospital. I was admitted for 10 days.

This time while in the hospital, I began to think God may be alive afterall and apparently had some control over life and death.

After a few weeks of being in the hospital I was released and visited a priest to ask some questions like why didnt I die…

He told me after 3 hours of talking, that I was forgiven and to start going back to church…I told him about the last time I went to church and Mother Mary telling me to commit suicide. He had no answers for that.

He agreed through the entire story that it was ‘her’ appearing to me til I told him what she said to do~

Then he went pale and I left.He said she never would have done that.

I was starting to realize that there is a spirit world and it affects us all…

I didnt go back to that church, however as I didnt want any more of those encounters with the “Mary” I had met, whoever she was…

It took several months til my stomach healed enough to eat regular food again and then I also resumed drinking.

I did however believe that God was now alive.

I still didnt know why he lets babies die and that bothered me a long time.

My roommate had moved away meanwhile and we remained in contact. She moved back upstate to care for her father who was dying from cancer.

I went upstate to visit my old roommate and was amazed how she cared for her dad. She remained there til September when he died, then called me to visit and I went over to console her.All I could imagine was if that had been my dad and I felt aweful for her.

She wanted to go to some churches that werent Catholic and I reluctantly agreed and that is where I was eventually led to meeting Jesus and getting saved.

I still was haunted by what I percieved to be God’s lack of mercy in how some people died but was now looking for some answers and started to see that it was the devil causing all the evil,so I began praying that the devil would get saved and that everyone would then get saved if the devil stopped bugging people..[of course I was wrong, but naiive]

I soon learned in my Christian walk that it wasnt God’s fault about death but that the devil, not born in the flesh, could not get saved and that
the world was about to change when Jesus returned.

Anyway, I found from those encounters and more to come that no one has power over their day of death!

Those who are successful at committing suicide, just as with victims of accidents or  violence, that it is in fact their time to go.  Never give up hope in the mercy of God!

I also know that when someone is in the actual process of dying, that time stops for them and they enter a spiritual state that seems endless,

I was there, more than once and have read and heard of similar encounters of near death experiences others have had.

During this time, as I did, people do talk to spirits and some may be heading towards hell.

Others can and do accept Jesus and ask forgiveness.

Some, whose bodies are so damaged are permitted to die.

That doesnt mean they are judged for hell as God will have mercy on whom he will have mercy, just as readily we can believe a person
can jump in front of a train to save another and they themselves get killed as being ‘a savior’, we have less doubt that that person goes to hell…

I believe that the common conception that suicide equals hell is done more to try and prevent some from trying to commit it.

God is the judge not us and if we are to believe that a person, so totally in despair that they commit suicide would automatically go to hell for it, that we are by way of logical progression, accusing God of being unfair and uncaring that such a person suffered in life and death.

God is able to save to the uttermost those who come to him through Jesus.

Some peoples deaths serve to draw other people closer to God. Some people are just so hurt in life that it seems unrepairable and God calls them home to comfort them.

It is appointed unto man once to die, then the judgement … not my speculations as to where they will reside in eternity according to my perceptions.

I know that I trust our God who ultimately is Love and
whatever mercy we think we can fathom to extend to another human being is nothing compared to the mercy he extends to us all.

In the old testament, various acts by individuals were wrong in man’s eye but counted as righteous in God’s eye, like Rahab the harlot lying to save the spies…Her lie wasnt to protect herself but others and it was counted by God as ‘righteous’… yet we are told liars go
to hell…

So it is clear here that God makes exceptions under various circumstances as written in the bible.

I extend those exceptions, that I do not understand, back to the wisdom of God and know he always does what is right.

I wont allow the devil to pull a ‘hath not God said’ thing with me and make me think a person is going to hell for how they died…

Rather, they will go to hell for how they lived! It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living god.

I can honestly offer comfort to all who have lost loved ones, of the hope I have in Jesus and trust in my God that the suffering in life ends at death and that only those so notoriously evil will have to face God and his judgement,

however those who forn whatever reason, became so distraught with the pains suffered in this life are often actually rescued through their deaths by God and then again, some recover to live longer on earth, while to others he says “welcome home children”…

Yet it is our duty to reach out to the lonely and in despair to help them and guide them into more productive lives.

Likewise it is our privilege to offer comfort to those who lost loved ones including those who died apparently by their own hand.

GBU~!
Ave