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Can a person lose their salvation??


Looking at it from various perspectives.. You have to consider where you are at when considering this. From a human point of view, you have ‘free will’ and choose daily whom you will serve, whether it be yourself, others, others with a motive[selfish reasons] , others out of love or concern. There is a way that seems right to a man… so we are told that even a ‘bad father’ can give good things to his children, With that said, you meet people who may not believe in God, yet are humanly generous & decent.

When thinking from a worldly perspective you may find a mental argument considering that if there is a God, that it would be most unfair of Him to condemn such ‘nice’ people to an eternal hell…or that ‘if there is a God in Heaven, so and so would have to be an angel…and so on when referring to a deceased loved one and not having any knowledge of the Holy One.

Then you have those who claim to ‘believe in God’ and may have been brought up in a certain culture or religion, follow all the pre-set rules and behave accordingly, outwardly~ yet their actions, demonstrate they are only holding a form of religion while denying its power by their very daily actions…Example a ‘slum lord’ that through greed causes human suffering yet may be a pillar in his so called church…Or perhaps a person who knows there is a God but limits his service to God to what is self serving at the same time.. sharing the throne as he is ruled by his own wicked heart and not trying to learn what is pleasing to the Father, rather trying to pay his way in…Ex. Mafia killer who donates heavily to a church…[extreme example I know but made for a point]

Then you have a person, who knows there is something bigger than himself out there [God has put eternity into the hearts of men..] that may not belong to any set religion, but almost instinctively chooses to do good for others and will often put him/herself at a disadvantage by choosing to do what is best for someone else, whether it be family or stranger…Such a person would be like the Good Samaritan, perhaps, that cares for the needs of others. There are all sorts of people out there and they have all sorts of things going on inside them that motivates their actions.

 WE are told not to judge by appearances, since we can not always discern another’s motives..That is why the Holy Spirit searches the hearts and minds of men….Often the person who truly serves God by his/her selflessness, may be obscure in the crowd and the person you would least expect.. That is why the Jews didnt receive Jesus.. They expected an omnipotent leader to emerge as a king and destroy their oppressors…but that wasnt how he came and he was for the most part rejected, a man of sorrows , aquainted with grief, while still doing miracles that drew attention to his cause in demonstrating how we should seek the Father and how to please Him, culminating in his sacrifice on the cross…

We too must pick up our cross daily… and if we are prospering on earth for what we do for God, doesn’t that make us like a hireling, since we might care more for the outward show and glory here instead of heaping up our rewards in heaven? So what must a man do to be saved and can we lose our salvation? Since the heart of man is deceitful, desperate to be corrupt, we are challenged daily by our circumstances to choose whom we will serve and how we are to justify our own actions.

We tend to blow it and make wrong choices, if not everyday, at least at times that will plainly reveal that we are in sin and not perfectly behaving within the will of God. The Jews had it all written down, just needed to obey, as to what God wants and yet even with the blessings they received, they were not content and sought after the Baals and subsequently were punished for many centuries..

The example shows us that we can be chosen by God , yet still chastized when we do wrong and sometimes die in our sins..After all when going by the Law, guilty of one is the same as being guilty of all…All have fallen short of the glory of God. The Spirit of Antichrist has been around from the beginning~ beguiling Even & Adam in the Garden all the way down to every person ever born…Satan is evil and infects mankind by whispering into our ears and offering foul solutions to life that will not please God.

Funny that human anatomy gives us two ears…not that either is good of bad, but that there is two…like the choices we get- choose daily , right or wrong…and we get two eyes..seeing a choice in everything we come across.. dark or light, good or bad… BUT we get one mouth..and out of the mouth comes the culmination of what we think…out of the mouth the abundance of the heart speaks.. We are given one heart– cant serve two masters- love one, hate the other.. WE are given one stomache that digests whatever we put into it, although some things nourish, while others make us sick… WE are wonderfully made! Still we are housed in one body while on earth and when one part of the body suffers, the entire body suffers, so becoming of sound mind means certain criteria we have to establish in our own hearts and adhere to..

Do not be double minded as such receive no blessings from God. Take every thought captive, holding fast to that which is good- Learning to please the Father. To be greatest of all when reaching heaven, become a servant of all here on earth, laying down life for a friend and putting the needs of others before your own.

Commit your way to the Lord and your plan will be established. Choose this day whom you will serve. Today is the day of salvation, as the Holy Spirit draws you into the presence of God, surrender your unbridled will to Him and taste and see that the Lord is good. Man makes alot of mistakes during his life time since now we only see in part, but it is promised that later we shall see fully and understand… Jesus is the rock of our salvation.

What does that mean to you? Are mere words a plan for war? Will wickedness deliver those who are given to it? How can you become firm in faith and be assured of your eternal reward? What tightrope must you walk if any, to be assured of the mercy of God?

JESUS~ He came to show us the WAY but many dont look at all that really involves. Most can plainly see that as a man he did good deeds and some miracles and allowed himself to be martyred for the cause, so to speak. Even demons believe~!

 But what was it that made Him so special to be called the Messiah or only begotten Son of God… I mean, humanly speaking some called him a drunkard and He even demonstrated anger and violence when He chased the money changers out of the temple…So what is it about Jesus that makes anyone choose to follow Him and at what capacity? Are they mimicking a good man and have a masochistic streak that makes them want to be martyred? Even religions professing other dieties do as much , like a buddhist monk set afire to make some point…

What is it about Jesus that sets Him apart from all the others out there , like Mohamad or Buddha?You need first to be convinced in your own mind but it can be argued that Muslims and Buddhists[and others] are similarly persuaded to lay down their lives for their beliefs~

Nimrod was a mighty king in Babylon and he persuaded the known world to follow him to the point of total unity~! People saw him as right when he shot the arrow into the heavens to snot the real God and show he can do as he pleased. No wonder God didn’t destroy mankind, rather He scattered their speech so they could no longer fellowship in wrong in unity but were dispersed…and why?

Another  reason is 1/3 of the heavenly host were cast down to earth and these wandering spirits have thoughts that oppose God so they will be separated from Him eternally into a place where they can enjoy their thoughts which are evil and cause suffering. They are spirits and know alot more about the spirit world and have been observing and manipulating mankind from the beginning .

Not satisfied with the judgement they received in being cast out of heaven, they seek to cull out all from God’s creation that embrace such thoughts..

They didnt create mankind. They know God did create mankind for His glory and they HATE God, so they want to destroy anything of God’s while they are loose and wandering so they plot evil and plant it into the thoughts of the minds of men.

Starting at birth, they whisper thoughts into man’s mind , right alongside the blessed and good thoughts that also are being placed for consideration into man’s mind. Mischief is bound up [trapped] into the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline [thy rod and staff comfort me] will drive it far from them…[Train up a child in the way that they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it]

They even infect into man’s mind, ways to twist the scriptures and cause child abuse, by the lack of knowledge people possess when reading scriptures. They twist the scriptures to make God seem unfair or harsh, when in reality He is Love…real  love. The evil  ones, tell a man’s mind that you must ‘beat’ a child, when God’s rod and staff comfort us, try telling a child who is beat with a rod that it is of any comfort!!

Not to say we aren’t to be chastized or that a child should never be spanked, but the object of a painful punishment is to challenge the thoughts of the child to seek better choices, godly ones.. not to foster contempt and future revenge on others, but repentence from the misdeed and a clearer choice to want the rewards of doing what is right.

Spiritually we get spanked when as children of God we do wrong, but never with His intention to do us harm, rather His plans for us are always GOOD.

God is good. God is Love. God is willing that none should perish.. God wants all to come to repentence.[that is to choose right..His ways.. over wrong.. the devils ways] Devils will eventually be thrown into a prison – lake of fire- that they can continue living in but can no longer recruit follwers to…

We are here on this earth for a temporary amount of time, in bodies that are corruptible and will die.The spirit of the soul placed within our beings is eternal but will be judged by the choices it makes that are planted within our hearts and minds.It is a war within our minds to choose each day whom we will serve.

Since man tends to judge by outward appearances, is visual as some say, it is often negated or ignored that there is a spiritual world or dimension out there that we belong to, since we dont see it readily, nor do we know our own personal futures as we are trapped into the cares of the world around us, needing food, shelter and clothing and to do things that we can obtain such with.

Evil spirits readily speak to our minds continually, suggesting ways in which we can make this world our home and that the afterlife means little, so that we then tend to make ourselves as our own gods and stray away from seeking the Holy One who has another place prepared for us that is in eternal glory.

Such evil spirits, when allowed to influence a man’s mind continually, will bring about an imbalance in the man’s ability to make choices as confusion and chaos siege a man’s mind. At such a place of being so infected with wrong, the man becomes mentally imbalanced, runs on emotions and can become a mental patient. This is spiritual oppression.

If that continues to where a man then acts on such oppressive thoughts to where they control his mind  with such manipulation that the man loses his sense of free will, the person can become possessed by  those spirits and wreak havoc in the  lives of others and become a destroyer or murderer.

The Holy Spirit is departed from such a person, as they reject all that is good and holy . Such a person still can be delivered and spared by God, so there is hope for all who worry about their own salvation.. which  may be why we are told to work out our salvation with fear[of displesing God] and trembling.[knowing it is only by His grace we are saved and not by our works, lest any man should boast!]

We can not see it or comprehend what God has prepared for those that …love…Him… So how do we love Him? How do we know what He wants? How do we serve Him? How can we be sure of what we are doing and if it is right or wrong or if it will prosper us to endure to the end and thus be saved from it all?

The righteous can fall 7 times but the wicked only once.. so we know there is room for error on our part, but as for the cursed, their future is secure in that they know they are going to hell and have nothing to gain by repentence, so in their evil thoughts seek to take along as many as they can to go into that eternal damnation…

[Woe to you Destroyer, you who have not been destroyed, when you cease to destroy, you will be destroyed..]

The Holy Spirit of God is in total unity with God. The devil is the author of confusion and chaos. God is peace . The devil is not, nor are his followers who will bite and devour one another and any they can prey into, like lions culling out a flock.. ripping them apart and eating them…

But to all who received Him, who believed in His name, He gave POWER to become children of God.

Those who do not have any love for the Truth or God could care less about salvation or eternity.

Such are narcissists and sociopaths that have NO conscience. Hard to imagine such people, but they do exist! Murderers such as serial killers and dictators who oppress their people and have little regard for human life of those they hate .{ex.Hitler & Jews]

Such serve only themselves and feign concern for others , only as they can profit by them or off them. Such people can kill with no remorse and are known even to non believers as evil and dangerous.

They are those who willingly destroy and kill for any agenda that they embrace[ such as terrorists and suicide bombers] Those who possess a conscience that leans towards doing good and are concerned over right and wrong as the lost who need to be found and they are the ones one might say are ‘predestined’ to be saved as the Father gave such to the Son.

[ All that the Father gives me WILL come to Me and him who comes to Me , I will NOT cast out.’] so there is a degree of predestination, but consider the race is not for the swift…

A person can prepare and practice for a race, but still not win it..so there is more involved than just predestination. A long distance runner can go so far and then lose endurance and quit the race, thus never to be crowned a winner… so we can not merely say we are predestined to be saved and going to heaven no matter what..

We have to choose, be committed and do the works that are given us to do.Not that the works are a measurement of our salvation, but that while doing works, we become living epistles and can show others to likewise become aware of the great love the Father has for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us and we now must pick up the torch and carry on as He did .

 The Holy Spirit puts the desire to do right, into our hearts. We need to listen to the Holy Spirit and choose to serve God. We need to want do do the works He did and as we try and learn what is pleasing to the Father, we must choose to reject what caused us to sin against Him.

We must not be those who lead others astray, nor become instruments of evil in the destruction of mankind. We falter.We get led astray at times. We make wrong choices or react wrongly to circumstances.

When in the Lion’s Den, we may freak out- or- we can stand firm and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that the one who can destroy our bodies can not destroy our spirit…If anything we should fear only Him who can destroy both body and spirit…

Seeing the heavenly battle, knowing our enemy, not being ignorant of the devil’s devices…how do we know what to do?….By taking heed according to the Word of God that was made flesh and dwelt among us~ Studying the Word ~ not from a humanly beneficial point of view~ but looking for that eternal point of view~ God’s view~

Take every thought in your head  that enters your mind captive! Consider if they are good and will have a good outcome and what your motives are in embracing such thoughts.

Do not be double minded…How? Dwell on whatever is good, holy and acceptable and so on..

Put on the whole armour of God, that is to choose to follow Him, not religion [as religion is full of evil deceiving spirits, a haunt of demons~] but become assured in His promises.

He is faithful when we are not!!.. His ways are not our ways~!!… Samson was a loser to his custom tailored devil Delilah~ he was imprisoned, treading out the grain on a chain…yet when you might have counted him out of the race….he was able to do more service to God at his death than in all his life!.. so dont get discouraged by what you may have already done. Spilled water can not be gathered up again by man.. only by act of God…

That sinner on the cross, beside Jesus, admitted he deserved death according to all he had done in his own life, but before his death saw the glory of God in Jesus and that Jesus was innocent , so he testified to the more evil man on the other cross to stop mocking God through Jesus…

That man was forgiven eternally and rewarded with paradise. Just as Jesus spoke about the workers in the vineyard that some come in at the last hour and are paid the same as those who worked all along…God WILL have mercy on whom He will have mercy.. So we are not to judge by appearances but with RIGHT Judgement… There is only one Judge eternally..That is the one we are to fear and respect… That is the one who seeks our love and loved us before we were even born~!

BE asssured of the Father’s true  love for you.. He was never a cruel taskmaster as the devils would have you think! He loves you and wants you to love Him and He is able to hold you up in the hour of your greatest trial. Before you even enter into trials and temptations.

He already has prepared a way for you to escape the wrath to come…Jesus said His yoke was easy. A yoke is your burden, what you carry with you through life, whether in bondage like Samson or in peril like Job ~ it is custom tailored to clean out the impurities buried deep within your heart so that like dross being fired out of the silver, makes the silver pure, it is then fashionable into a vessel fit for honor..

That honor is eternal life with Jesus~ You are saved. It can be coined to be predestined, by those who can’t touch your spirit.That is the demons who influence your thoughts with hate that they can not destroy your eternal spirit and that God is upholding you in this life.

You are saved and no one can snatch you out of HIS hand…but the evil thoughts of demons may suggest for your pollution that you can do as you please which equals embracing their foul thoughts and leading you back into sin..

Each one is lured and enticed by their own desire[ the part of your mind that considers some earthly profit and momentary pleasures that displease God] that when conceived[ that is taken into account and decided on within your mind, to embrace and become one with= spiritual fornication= choosing what God said not to] gives birth to Sin[ which , when full grown[becomes your nature] brings for death[because you chose not to follow the Holy One but instead followed the lusts[enticements] of your own heart.

To be such a person, means you reject what God would have you do and willfully choose to do wrong. A person who willfully chooses to do wrong, without conscience, does not even care what God wants.

Such a person has a seered conscience and has rejected the Holy Spirit~ blasphemied in the sence of not listening to or yielding to what is right and noble in God’s way~ and a child of God, does not behave this way. As such the child of God does not sin.[1Jn3:6] but is remorseful and repents from such sins and then goes on in the race to endure to the end.

 The devils would remain as the accuser of the brethren, heaping guilt and self condemnation and other negative oppressing thoughts, to cause you to embrace own and give up on the mercy of God.That is their job~ to bring about your destruction.

 They are liars from the father of lies- satan- and will never tell you the truth, but are there to torment you into despair and doubt. They wiull encourage you to do evil things that do not please God. They seek to delude and deceive you. Look how such devils convince a godless people to become terrorists and suicide bombers, how their god  is nothing  more than an angel of light masquerading as god, giving them a form of  religion…  one of hate, revenge, power and elitism! You know who they are!

Doubt entering your mind is thought that comes from an evil spirit and a person who yields to Doubt will be led into captivity.

There are spirits , biblically known as Legion[for we are many they boast] with many traits, custom tailored to lure and entice you out of the way to bring you to ruin.

Not to say God can’t save you from them, but they can cause you to detour and take a harder path in life that is less glorifying to your Heavenly Father…

Remember those who lead many to righteousness will shine like the stars in heaven~! Heaping up spiritual rewards is what we are to be seeking to do…trying to please the Father…while our tormentors try earnestly to put our lights out and discredit and ruin us, trying to make fools out of us.

WE dont want to be those who are ashamed when judgement comes, not that we wont be saved, but that we will see all the time we wasted in idle pursuits where the devil got some browny points in being able to further disrespect God. Even the Prodigal makes it through~ God can save to the uttermost those who come to Him through Jesus…

 When giving into an evil, religious type spirit of despair, doubt or guilt ~ remember that God still loves you~~LOVES~~ not in the human conditional way, but in His way- Jesus is the way~ so REJECT AND RENOUNCE ALL EVIL THOUGHTS THAT CAPTIVATE YOUR HEART AND MIND~ Which is to REPENT- reject evil and commit to do right, according to HIS Word…

You are already empowered to do so through Jesus’ NAME…which is to reckon and decide that He is the way, the truth and the life and no man can come to the Father except by HIM…

Under no other name given among men can a man be saved. He is faithful even when we are not. Jesus once said ” O you faithless generation!’…fully aware of the hold the enemy has on man collectively, so that Jesus came to seek out the lost, individually healing people to demonstrate the power the Father has given to Him..

All power honor and glory belong to Jesus as our Lord and Savior, Mediator between God and Man, Prince of Peace, Lord of Lords~ over all. Never doubt your salvation.Flaunt it!! When the devil inspires doubt, despair or confusion or guilt~ RENOUNCE and REJECT it…

Guilt comes from the devil to bring about surrender and live condemned on earth embracing damnation, calling God a liar in that He cant save you that you are too far gone etc, which in effect is calling God a liar and leads to blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and hell.

Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit to bring about your redemption and to steer you away from the errors of your way…Never to condemn you but to bring you to repentance and into the eternal security of God’s love for you so that you can tell others of the wonderful love of the Father and be his witness.

Its not about works, but then again faith[cornerstone of trusting in Jesus] without works [still in bondage to sin] is dead [ because you cherish iniquity in your heart rather than God- who shares the throne with no one- light cant fellowship with darkness]…So be at peace with your maker, your Lord and Savior, enjoy salvation – your freedom from damnation and don’t let the devil steal your joy as you meet various trials as they only serve to make you stronger and more dedicated in your service to your Creator.

So it is not very easy to lose your salvation, because so long as it is day, the Holy Spirit will continue to draw you back into the light of God’s love and provision for you. If you were among those ‘destined’ for destruction your conscience wouldn’t be tugging at your heart the way it does… 🙂

GBU~! Ave

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The Great Counterfeiter~!


As the great counterfeiter, satan was furious at the Tower of Babel when he had all the people united with Nimrod to defy God by not only building the Tower against God’s will , but in daring to shoot an arrow up towards Heaven, symbolically wanting to slay the Lord…So because it was ordained before time that Israel was to be a nation of God’s people and were yet to be born, the Lord scattered their tongues, breaking their communications and causing division, allowing time to intercede and his nation to be born.

In Sarah was the promise, her seed not Hagar’s! Ishmael sought the inheritance and has been after it ever since.His descendents, counterfeit of Isaac’s descendents fight to gain the blessing to try and take the kingdom of Heaven by force~ as counterfeits, as envoys from Babylon, they seek to pretend to serve God calling Him, Allah, but Allah is the angel of light- the spirit of antichrist – the deceiver of nations, even those born into it are deceived into thinking they are doing ‘god’ a service, but their god is not our God! John 8:44 describes their mandate spiritually, they will come and do as they did to Hezekiah, pretending concern so as to gain the secrets of the treasury and cost Hezekiah the kingdom! Their time may be short, but they are coming into it as a descendent of Ishmael is on the rise. That charismatic false peace maker is coming. The nations will love him as the world loves its own ~ under the guise of peace and humanity he will deceive the nations and when he has seized power, the mask will come off and all who haven’t bowed to him will be sought out and persuaded as a famine of the Word will come and the hearts of  most grow cold and weary wondering when He will return for us.The evil one like Absalom will gain the hearts of many people. He would fool the world and the very elect if it were possible.

WE all will have a Job like experience, we all will pass through the flood and the fires of this life, but we are told to fear not for He is with us and His rod and staff will comfort us. We are to continue and study showing ourselves approved, rightly dividing the Word of God! WE are to put on that whole armor of God and listen to that still small voice~ WE are to tests the spirits and hold fast to that which is ‘good’ as we take every ‘thought’ captive and choose each day whom we will serve~

We must decrease, as He must increase, we are to try and learn what is pleasing to the  Lord and as we put to death the deeds of the flesh we can put on the mind of Christ and no longer be double minded as those who receive nothing from God almighty.We must stand fast, being assured of the blessed hope we have in HIM and not listen to those seducing familiar religious spirits that satan has mingled into the churches today bringing their false doctrines of demons along with them with their thus saith the lords… speaking words but not HIS, prophesying lies and causing each to do what is right in their own eyes, without seeking the will of the Father in their lives..A great falling away is coming among those who hold a form of religion but through their live’s actions, deny the power of it! The warning went out to the 7 churches in Revelations and is a warning to us as well that we must prepare the way of the Lord!

This generation is growing up not ‘knowing’ God. A man’s enemies will be that of his own household, including the household of faith. Satan has caused divisions and lies to grow in like weeds in the garden of our Lord and Jesus said that the spirit of antichrist was already at work, even back when Jesus was preparing to go back to the Father!

How many men have killed one another, thinking they were doing God a service?  Satan, that counterfeiter has been playing god and making the church his tower of babel so, confusing the speech of the people and breaking unity to prevent men from knowing how to seek God. For lack of knowledge, my people go into exile~ for lack of knowledge my people perish….
Purify your hearts you sinners we are told to cleanse our minds and to stop being double minded as the battle for our souls is ongoing in our own hearts and minds! The enemy is a whisperer, a deceiver and lures and entices us by own own desires ever planting thoughts in our heads for us to choose to indulge in. That causes men to sin and sin when full grown will bring forth death!
We are to renounce all the workings of satan in our lives if we are to expect to be joint heirs with Jesus. Jn 3:36 says he who believes in the Son has everlasting life, but also says, ‘he who dont not obey the Son [some translations say does not believe the Son] shall NOT see life but the wrath of God rests upon him and it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God!…
Paul’s said o wretched man that I am…and so are we ~!…For me to live is Christ and to die is GAIN~ how many of us are prepared to put our lives where our words are? How many rather hear smooth speech and not deal with their responsibility to study word and know well the condition of God’s flock?

How do we hear that still small voice of the Holy Spirit? God shares the throne with no one, especially satan. He had him cast out of heaven when he tried to seize the throne….Know ye not we are the temple of the Holy Spirit? What then are we to do…?…WE are to renounce our wicked ways!! WE are to renounce the workings of satan in our lives.. All those subtle spirits that entertain our thoughts, our unspoken thoughts…Jesus said that for a man to even look on a woman , that if he lusted in his heart , he has already committed adultery! That example speaks to our minds!….The battle for our eternal salvation is in our minds, not our whitewashed outer tombs!!
What are the workings of satan in our lives?What is it that we are to renounce ? How do we know that it is the Holy Spirit that is speaking to us to guide us into all truth?…[by taking heed according to the Word…]

The heart is deceitful and desperate to be corrupt! Secret sins in our members~ outwardly clean but the cup is full of iniquity!We can go through the motions and continue to deceive ourselves, but then how will we stand in the jungle of the Jordan, when we cant stand up against the wrong in our own hearts? The Lord searches the hearts and minds of men~ even if our heart condemns us, He is greater than our hearts and if we repent- if MY people who are called by MY Name, humble themselves and PRAY, I will forgive them their sins  and cleanse them from all manner of unrighteousness….How can we do this? How do we face ourselves and stand up and choose Jesus?
These people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from Me….

Jesus spoke to the man with demons and asked his name…Legion, for we are many….Jesus cast Legion out and they went into the swine and jumped off the cliff….A legion is comprised of many soldiers~ The devil is at war with the saints and never sleeps or slumbers but is ever about roaming like a lion seeking whom he may devour~

There is no discharge from the ‘war’, nor will wickedness deliver those who are given to it. To the pure He shows Himself Pure, but to the ‘crooked’ He shows Himself ‘perverse’ [or crooked, such as people blaming God when things go wrong in their lives  or take matters into their own hands rather than listening to the Holy Spirit, choosing to do it their way, BUT we are warned ” My thoughts are not your thoughts says the Lord ~ nor My ways are your ways”…

Paul said, O wretched man that I am…remember??

So we are to renounce the workings of satan in our lives…we are to clean our house and guard the door so the thief can not enter in and make us 7 times worse~than when we began….

Or we can say Lord Lord we did many works, in Your name, but He will say ‘begone’ I don’t know you!!Repent.. How do we repent? By renouncing the workings of satan in our lives!! How… ?
What is your name, Jesus asked and when told, he cast satan out! He wasn’t asking the demoniac ‘his’ name but He was asking for the ‘name[s]’ of the devils that were leading the man astray and taking him out of his ‘right ‘ mind~ as all who could see the man knew he was naked before the Lord….

Name them, cast them out,lock the door, trim your lamp, preserve the oil of the Holy Spirit by whom you were annointed by on the day you called Christ your Lord….
Unveil yourself, remove that mask of self righteousness!  Get naked before the Lord and remove those whitewashed tombstones and let the dead bury the dead while you come back to life in Him…

Recognize them, name them and cast them out… the spirit of self righteousness, the spirit of pride, the spirit of condemnation, the spirit of calamity, the spirit of deceit, the spirit of ‘religion’, the spirit of hate, the spirit of  envy, the spirit of strife, the spirit of greed, the spirit of gluttony, the spirit of malice, the spirit of depression, the spirit of defeat, the spirit of fear,the spirit of confusion,the spirit of bearing false witness, the spirit of false prophecy, the spirit of coersion, the spirit of falsehood, the spirit of false religion, the spirit of pretense,the spirit of rage, the spirit of anxiety,the spirit of disobedience, the spirit of rejection, the spirit of lust, the spirit of jealousy, the spirit of murder, the spirit of prejudice, the spirit of racism, the spirit of haughtiness, the spirit of deception, the spirit of lies, the spirit of pride, the spirit of laziness, the spirit of control, the spirit of manipulation, the spirit of ego, the spirit of self-centered-ness, the spirit of guilt, the spirit of war, the spirit of anger, the spirit of wickedness, the spirit of compromise, the spirit of revenge, the spirit of chaos, the spirit of destruction, the spirit of immorality, the spirit of doubt, the spirit of elitism, the spirit of deafness, the spirit of blindness, the spirit of cowardess, the spirit of narcissism, the spirit of betrayal, the spirit of drunkeness, the spirit of doubleminded-ness, the spirit of divination, the spirit of witchcraft, the spirit of rebellion , the spirit of greed, the spirit of surrender, the spirit of condemnation, the spirit of woe, the spirit of hate together with all the others, named and unnamed together in tandem custom lured by your own desires, that if  you continue to allow them one room in the house of your mind, you can not please God your Father~

Repent, open your hearts to God and lay yourself at the foot of the cross and renounce the workings of satan in your life! Be healed and freed in the name of Jesus! Embrace your salvation, go and sin no more,making disciples of all the nations…starting with the nation of your own heart. Be washed by the water of the Word!  receive the continual cleansing with the living waters – repent and be baptized by the Holy Spirit, not holding a form of religion but being pure religion, before God our Father, visiting  not only the physical widows, but the spiritual ones as well, those who have lost their husband …those who have lost God in their lives and  backslid…visit the orphans, including the spiritual orphans, those who have no Father …so they can experience the adoption of God~! but to all who received HIM who believed [obeyed] in HIS Name[Jesus} He gave POWER to become Children of God~ who were ‘born’ not of man but of the will of God…. He is willing that none should perish,BUT that ALL come unto repentance~taste and see that the Lord is good~

Then you will experience that peace that surpasses understanding as the weight of the ‘world’ will be lifted off your shoulders as Jesus said His yoke is  easy ~ and once we can face ourselves, naked and unashamed before God, not hiding from him but being able to boldly come before the throne of grace~

ALL that the Father gives to Me will come to Me and him who comes to Me, I will NOT cast out…The sooner we believe He loves us and cares for us and is concerned for us, the sooner we cast out all doubt and doubleminded-ness, the sooner we will be able to fully embrace the Love of God in our lives and be able to witness it to others….

This is what the Lord has done for me in my life! He has given me an ear to hear and spiritual eyes to see and the ear tries words like the palate tastes food. Every Word of the Lord proves true…

GBU~!
Ave

An answer to another blog asking ” Who can save you?”


Hi,
Your title was eye catching. I dont have sound on my computer however so I dont know what the You Tube is about, sorry~!

But the answer is the same for all people.Only one person ever came from heaven to earth to save our souls. He was despised and rejected, a man of sorrows, very aquainted with grief. He tirelessly healed the sick, fed the poor & preached the good news on how to be saved from eternal damnation, but most werent satisfied with his answers & then killed him.

Well you cant keep a good man down! He came back a few days later, stronger than before as he conquered death & rose again. Many took note &listened.

Still many more didnt and then started lying about him & saying he wasnt for real & try til this day to make him out to be a scam, but he isnt. He is real!

So those who hate him or dont know him, look for alternatives, rather than listening to him & embracing his solution for gaining eternal life & making peace with God.

Cleverly and with devilish inspirations, many ways were created to divert seekers from the truth. Then societal implications called for people to tolerate their differences while here on earth & forced acceptance of the false truths to dilute the one &only real truth, which was spoken by this man & those who were enlightened &followed him throughout the ages til present.

Now however the pollution of all the lies and laws have demoted him in the eyes of most men to that of a good person or one of many prophets, while he is the only way the truth & the life and no one can attain heaven without him, yet the love of most has grown cold. People get caught up in their every day lives &put considering him on the back burner of their minds & priorities.

Many have embraced lies for their own gain or by their own ignorance of the truth and have rejected him altogether. Unless they come to see the light, they will be forever lost in eternity.

To address this, lies claiming eternity doesnt exist, or that punishment for evildoers isnt real, have lulled many into a false sense of security in that they choose not to believe and for them it is then ‘so’.

The world continues on its way, with murder, hate, lies, wars, stealing, rape,&more & he promised to come again to take us away from this all, but we have to persevere til his return and we are to spread the word to others so that they can have hope for their eternal future as well. His name is Jesus & he loves you!He will come again & we will be saved!~Ave

How should we pray to God and when and what to pray for??


We all are to pray and are equally ale to come before the throne of grace.

Our salvation is the gift and we are told to pray one for another and to pray without
ceasing.

Let everything that  has breath praise the Lord.
Reminded that there are many hindering spirits out therewhose job it is  to try and stop
us from praying as we should, along with a spirit of doubt and others that try to prevent us from approaching God in prayer.

We need to first resist the spirits  to doubt and fear and trust like Jesus did when he said he thanked his Father who hears his prayers always since Jesus told us greater things can we do as we follow him, prayer being our greatest weapon against evil we are told to ask for what we will without doubt or being double minded as the double minded receive
nothing from God.

When I finally began to pray more effectively, it was when I was healed back in 1987 along with my sons when I asked a pastor to pray for us as I felt my prayers wouldn’t be good enough or maybe not heard. I doubted! I was double minded.
The Holy Spirit however taught me a lesson that day, that those thoughts that go through our heads that tend to prevent us from praying as we should are from the devil to cause us to doubt or feel too unworthy or be double minded with disbelief or prejudging God’s
response so as to not feel sincere enough to commit to the prayer itself and simply ask our heavenly Father that whatever it is, if it be his will and not my own if he would like when dealing with Hezekiah, not necessarily answer my prayer because of my words but to
answer it for his name sake and glory. So I had to tell God that I was experiencing doubt and tld him that I believed but to help my unbelief.. He did! I prayed and accepted God’s mercy, humbly and was healed.

If praying with the motivation to seek what is pleasing to God for the person or request of the prayer, as long as it is to place the decision into the hands of God while trusting in his judgement to be as what will bring him glory and honor that I trust him to do what is
right regardless to how I see it since his ways arent my ways etc., that it makes it easy to pray for a right reason. WE are reminded to examine ourselves carefully, check our motives and to pray with right motives. We can even ask God to give us that right motivation and cleanse our speach- touch our tongues with that spiritual coal of fire of the Holy Spirit!

For example, I wouldn’t pray for a new mercedes benz or a new color tv or for something that I am jealous of that someone else has.[like that old song from the 70’s]i wouldnt pray for worldly treasures or to satisy mine or someone’s quest for power or position, although for example if there were a saved politician [?}I would pray that God’s will be done
in his life and that he be elected IF it will give God glory. I would also pray that if it is not God’s will that he not grant the request and trust him over myself.

I would pray for revelation of his will for me or others or spiritual wisdom in a matter to do what would be best and seek God’s will in different situations. I would pray for forgiveness, mercy, direction  and strength to do his will and that even in everyday life as attempting to live peacefully with all men that he be center and foremost in my decisions no matter how trivial they may be.

It is easy when caught up in day to day humdrum to neglect to pray or to put it off or even feel inadequate to present requests and to make them known before the Lord. He knows anyway, but waits for us to ‘ask’. That sometimes means swallowing our spiritual and or human pride.

Praying confidently and while trusting the Lord is something we all need to do and embrace as we are all told to pray without ceasing.

It is always easier to humanly surrender our tongues to our own minds and thoughts, but just as his thoughts arent our thoughts, neither are ours since the enemy is a whisperer always adding in his 2 cents to our minds in seeing negative or the wrong way to handle a
situation which will easily supply us with justifications [ hath God saids?] in order to appeal to our desires & lusts and thus cause us to sin, disappointment and even despair and guilt.

The Holy Spirit will convict us of our sins in order to bring about repentence. The devil however will slam us with guilt and shame and cause us to run and hide from God, breaking fellowship with him. Once estranged, we become targets easily sought, so even when we make a mistake and sin, we should still run right to the father and ask forgiveness and try to make peace with whomever we sinned against if possible.

One of the biggest word assaults we get from the enemy is to use snap judgements and to speak without thinking. How many times when say my temper was flared that I would blurt out an insult at someone that wasn’t in agreement with me! I think we all have done such at similar times..but the bible tells us to guard our words and to let our speech always be gracious and seasoned with salt.. a spiritual etiquette that most lack at some points in their daily struggles.

Humanly speaking, it is easier to ‘snap out’ and condemn someone than to try to understand them and or speak civilly to them to resolve a matter. Pride and temper cause us to make matters worse when we walk away without resolving the matter.
Communications is everything nowadays and miscommunications lead to most of the problems we experience with others.A brother can be more unyielding when they have been wronged or perceive that they have been wronged.

Flip the coin and we are reminded that it is better to suffer wrong than to retaliate, so ‘honing in’ on our spiritual walk and relationship with Jesus is an ever learning process for us all.

We are also told to be slow to speak, slow to anger but that too is an area that most of us have been weakened to at some point.

With all this and what we say and do, ever idle word we will be held accountable for, as we learn to speak right and edifying to one another, we should also find it easier to speak to our Lord and to be able to pray without ceasing as we continue to resist the devil and
therefore the impulses to mis-speak that he readily supplies to slip off our tongues in moments of frustration anger or weakness.

Learning to pray as we ought also teaches us to esteem one another as worthy since Jesus died for each of us. Suffering a wrong rather than making someone out to be an offender by perhaps the way they talk or appear is also a consideration as we are admonished not to judge by the obvious appearances but with right judgement and told to get logs out of our own eyes before we attempt to pluck a splinter out of someone elses, so again
let everyone be slow to anger and slow to speak and lets all guard our tongues and continue to pray for one another giving thanks always and rejoicing that God actually made it all very simple for us to serve him when we do it his way.~!

GBU~!
Ave

A Word from the Lord Jesus to whoever will listen……..


Who will hear what has been said?

Who will yield to fulfill My Word?

Who will stand when I bring this test?

Do not lean to the left or to the right!

Do not hide within the pit of shadows~

Come out from the shadows-

Stand before Me and walk!!

Walk in My Light, I am the Way~

Pick up your pace to follow Me.

Look up and behold ~ I make all things new!

The shadows vanish before the brightness of My Light.

Walk into My Light.

Do not stray to the left or to the right.

Follow Me!

Do not delay~

Who is worthy to be My servant?

Who is able to come to Me?

He who doesn’t bend his knee nor wink his eye to the shadows~!

Do not turn to the left or to the right!

Do not turn back into the shadows.

Walk into my light.

I make your path straight and narrow- it’s true-

I gird your loins with strength.

I give you sight to see My path.

I make your lameness vanish.

You hear My praise in your heart.

You hear My Words pass your lips.

You see My works by your hands.

Your labors will not be in vain.

Vanity for all who stray from My Light.

No striving after wind as you follow Me!

Don’t look away-

Who will swing his sword to defend My word?

Who will stand with Me and speak My glory?

Who will carry his brother into the chambers of My court?

Who will take the hand of the blind and say , “This is the way, let’s walk in it, together.”

Carry My brother, shout My arrival as I come & I come soon.

I am coming for you who have not departed from the way, who have not strayed

into the shadows.

Keep looking to the light , My light.

Keep walking on My path. My Way is the only Way.

I will lead you, I protect you.

Do not turn to the left or to the right.

Do not be frightened of what You see along the way

and in the shadows.

I have brought you and paid the price of your passage.

Discard your burdens for I have lifted them.

Let go , let go of your troubles as they will not come with you.

They hinder you from your walk. They draw you back to the shadows.

Do not lean to the left or to the right.

Do not look into the shadows.

Follow Me~! Seek Me~! Look to My Light.

Do not yield to the taunting voices.

Do not call upon the past~

I am the same , today, tomorrow and forever. I know My sheep .

Know me~! Come to Me~!

Take My hand~ Do not resist My Holy Spirit!

Do not delay. Do not wait to bury the dead,

I am alive forevermore. Where I am My servant will be also.

Be with me~

Do not look away- trust in Me.

Hear My voice- Listen to no others~

Shut the door to the shadows.

Let night not overcome you.

I have overcome the shadows……

I have looked into the Light.

I have not strayed from the path.

I have not bowed my knee to trials.

I have run the race and passed the finish……

I know the Way and am showing you, calling you, leading you , guiding you.

I protect you . My angels encamp about you.

Do not listen to the voices of the shadows~…….

A letter to a pagan friend who doubts God….


Albert[name  changed for this blog] is an aquaintence who lives in my old town.Recently he lost his wife and has issues over God.

As our level of communication has come to religion, he told me that he is a pagan and worships trees…

Knowing this is because of the pain in his life and not perceiving God to answer him when he ‘needed him’, becoming a pagan is more a frustrated result of feeling himself rejected by God and so thumbs his nose at God by claiming to worship trees..

Albert is an artist and seems he has been fashioning gods in his own images…

He has claimed to resent the hypocrisy he met in Christendom, which unfortunately, is true in the churches today as religious spirits have dominated the scene and have dispersed wormwood to believers and poison many in the flock..

Not to give up however, as we who claim to see, must make the difference and reach out the lost and hurting and bring them the love of Christ, without being ‘religious’… a tight rope walk at times, but Jesus ate and drank with sinners, much to the chigrin of his contemporaries and showed us that we are to become all things to all people  in the hope of bringing them to Christ as Paul wrote of..

So what I am posting here is part of the discourses, as they unfold, to share, to edify, to be accountable with so that we all can learn and possibly help one another as we gain opportunities to witness for Christ… albeit it is mixed with social human stuff.. .but that is part of the deal too….:) GBU~!Ave

Hi Albert~
Totally understand and relate to where you are coming from. The Bible was/is misused by many if not most who used it to overpower others…I particularly resent the prosperity preachers...and those who think they can treat God like a genie in the bottle and ‘speak their fortunes into existence’.. all nonsense and gimmicks!

In and of itself however , the Bible has so much truth in it that I havent ever seen elsewhere!

I dont get religious, but I dont throw the baby out with the bath water either.. Historically Jesus was real [just like Mohammad?] and other religious leaders in pivotal points of history.Each had impacts.

The difference in Jesus, is he not only claimed to be the son of God, but willingly sacrificed himself for the salvation of mankind,

where as Mohamad was a pedifile, plunderer, rapist and unmerciful murderer… modern day or old days a lying, pedifile, murderer is still a piece of crap!

There was a teenage girl recently stoned to death because she liked a boy from a different religion! It just happened in northern Iraq.

Islam is barberism, unmerciful destroyers trying to conquer Israel.

But on the otherhand, Jesus only did good..made the blind see, the lame walk,deaf hear, healed epileptics, mental illness, demon possessed and so much more..

So just because ‘religious’ people have basically cornered the market on teaching the bible [to their own gain], the bible even spoke of them as hirelings, in it for the profit..Jesus called them hypocrites .
There are things in the bible that are explorable humanly scientifically and very deep and interesting.. hard to explain for just a man written book!

Like in Job their are scientific statements about the jetstream and rivers under the ocean!

They were only discovered in the last 100 years, so how could it have been mentioned in that ancient book ???

Or the earth ‘turning on its axis’ – while people still thought the earth was flat and that planets and sun revolved around the earth,

BUT in  the book of Job spoke the truth, scientifically correct!

How can an unschooled person from ancient times know such things as the earth rotating on its axis?..unless God through his Spirit told him or ‘inspired’ him, as the bible is said to be inspired by God????This offers more proof that the Bible is more than a mere book written  by men…

Some say Job was written before the books of Moses!..

There are also verses that indicate the earth was round and not flat, but people used to think the world was flat!! So how would a writer know it was round without a way to prove it scientifically?

There are little things tucked into it that predict things that have since happened and there is alot of wisdom concerning human nature in it that is applicable today… talked about pestilence, volcanoes, earth quakes and weather phenomenom that is only being understood in the passed century.

I look at it more as a survival manual in dealing with life and  people today and have gained a lot of keen insights from it, so I tend to think that maybe it was ‘divinely’ inspired and the writers were more like ‘ghost writers’ and granted, even with some minor language variations, reinterpretations and all, since it was written line by line, much of any bible you pick up will still have the same subliminal message which is a positive one…

So if God is real and the Holy Spirit speaks to some, he can and would protect his Word,why would he only go so far and not keep it as he intended it to be?

The bible no matter how many people have tried to change it, is still the same story and teaches the same principals on how to treat others and to get right with God..

So you can worship a tree,[bible even talks about that!!] climb a tree, plant a tree, eat its fruits, cut down a tree,carve a tree into an idol, burn a tree and when all is said and done, it is still only wood [or ashes]

Although it can provide shelter, warmth and pleasure to look at and even some fruit to eat, it is still after all is said and done a tree!..

It is a convenient or  good diversion and shield that some use to ward off facing deeper realities, but not uncommon…

Accountability is something we all need to have but many want to run around without accountability and act like they are the only one that matters, but in fact we are all part of the picture.

Everyone has a purpose…

So have any BBQ today? WE just kicked back and enjoyed .

James went out fishing and Kyle returned from his date.

I slept a good part of the day away as I was up all night online.

Now I am just getting ready to cook something… probably cheesburgers, but seems boring.. I was thinking that I should have picked up a cube of beer yesterday, but didn’t, so now I am bored….lol…not sure about what to do tomorrow…probably some art.

I dont want you to think because you choose trees, that I would try to get religious on you or try to convert you or something!

There is alot going on in life to not have to strain on certain differences of opinion and core beliefs..

Actions speak louder than words and you can judge me by my actions rather than any possible sterotyped Christian you have met...

I wish there were a better word to use rather than calling myself a Christian, since that name nowadays, is offensive to so many and  even leaves a tinny taste in my mouth sometimes..due to religion.. I dont like religion…at least all the hypocritical ones that turn so many off to God..

Anyway, are you making any leighway on your [artwork]??? How tall is she?? How are you making her?Is she wood or metal?

You aren’t the first professed pagan I have ever met…I have known other pagans..

Each gravitated to that because they didnt find the answers they were looking for in religion and said for the most part religion is BS….

[I hope I am not sounding a bit bipolar here???LOL}

It is just that in my life and mind and heart I have distinguished what is real to me and what is bull and I still ‘admire’ Jesus as a truly giving and wonderful human being when he was on earth and certainly very influencial after he left earth.. I think he was more than human and by the writings in the Bible fortelling his coming, his mission and what he accomplished, since all that proved to be true, thus far, I have more data to conclude that what he said about the future from this point in time on is also going to be true…the facts speak for themselves, Jesus has credibility, as does the Bible.

So I think I would rather believe in Him who has never lied that what he did and said/says can be proven, as opposed to those who do lie and can be proven as liars, like fortune tellers and other faiths, like Islam…

Since He also was raised from the dead and Josephus and Eusebius and other historical books have records of it, then he disappeared from earth, with historical accounts made of people seeing him go up into the sky, after making promises of a return, I have no reason, at least from my studies, to disbelieve since many of the prophecies he made for the times to come are in fact still coming true..

If he were just a man, then how would he be so able to predict so many things to happen in the future that have happened since his death and resurrection and are still happening and how well he knew human nature and always wanted to promote positive goodness in others trying to show them how to approach the real  God?!

Conversely, Mohamad is a proven thief and murderer and the bible even predicted that Ishmael was going to be a wild donkey of a man always at war with his brothers.. Ishmael was 1/2 brother to Isaac and was not of God’s promise so he didnt inherit but has been fighting against Isaac ever since.. Hagar his mother was an Egyptian and taught him her ways and hatred for Sara and her offspring!

That ancient rivalry is causing the terrorism we see today.

Ishmael is father of Islam/Muslims and Isaac is father of the Israelites/Jews and to this day they war against one another and Ishmael is still trying to seize Jerusalem the symbolic representation of God’s promise..
When I think about it, it  actually takes more FAITH not to believe than to believe in Jesus..

Have a good afternoon… [As time progresses, you will find that there are many facets to my diamond, lol]

I look forward to talking to you more .

Lady Madonnah[Ave]

Forever Family 1975, Church of Bible Understanding 1976, Ichabod!


j10thumb.jpgAfter seeing some of the other posts I felt prompted me to write this long winded account of my memories from 1975-76 with a little added hindsight and as it unfolded, I saw it needed to be in a post by itself as some of the information I think might be beneficial to the newer members who have joined recently. [Some of this I already shared previously], some I think may help clarify some sentiments of when the transition took place and the deception took over.Some is personal testimony, but it all ties together.

When I joined in April of 1975, I did not see Stewart as the Head but saw Jesus as the Head….I met many who seemed to almost idolize Stewart back then, but I didnt. I already had experienced manipulative con men in my life and didnt meet Stewart for over a month after moving in.

I was already saved for 2 yrs and engaged to be married when I moved in ‘temporarily’ since the Westervelt fellowship on Staten Island had a fire when they were out witnessing and needed help with affording and furnishing a new fellowship…

I offered my house in Midland Beach but it was too small, so I agreed to move in a while with my furniture and money since I had a job, so I meant to only stay a month or two till my wedding that was scheduled for 5/25… I was befriended at work by Barbara Walden.The leader was a bright young man named John Bevilaqua.

I met and liked the Center Leader Dave & his wife JoAnn Rizetto. I used to try to find out how old they were and they would never tell me their ages… Dave would ask me if he told me he wondered if I would listen to him still? I was older than my years even back then since I grew up in a large family [14 kids] and so I was accustomed to large family groups in a house…one of the reasons I liked the FF and moved in.

Jesus was the leader of the early fellowship not Stewart although he appeared to be the physical representation of a leader and worked the fellowship into asking him to be, when you went down the totem pole to the newer members like me that were not of the original 100, but like a next generation, I saw Stewart to be like a bishop or bible teacher.

When I first met him, he teased me about my unwillingness to use an RSV to memorize my 12 verses…I didnt trust any bible at the time but my ‘King Jimmy’ as he called it…that also put me off on him a little longer..

I liked the little ‘nuggies'[nick name for mini bible studies] in the fellowships which nourished me and helped me gain understanding in God’s word… Not in the big lengthy studies Stewart dictated to us.They were so heady and we were so rushed to write them down with little time to ingest and digest…

The witnessing techniques were what sold me on joining…

I had been saved 2 yrs like I said and my way of witnessing was to carry a shopping bag of New Testaments[ “the greatest is love” book form of the NT and a large bible. I would ride the public transportation in NYC and sit next to anyone without a newspaper and open it widely so their eyes would have to see it.

I always opened to 1Cor6:9-10 the verses that the Holy Spirit cut me in half with when I was 19…then I would give the person a NT with a chick tract and address of a church…that was it. I knew nothing more to do. I thought only a minister could lead someone to Jesus.

After visiting and going along with the Staten Island fellowship on evening witnessing excursions, I asked for a copy of a sinners prayer as I wanted my fiance to get saved but he hadnt yet. They told me not until I memorized my 12 heavies.. which I did in KJV…and was teased for using it like I said before.

I wasn’t humanly impressed by Stewart and that helped me and maybe many others who joined during that era. Jesus was Lord not Stewart.

Stewart’s power was still limited more to when he was actually in your presence, like at Big Meetings and later at special center meetings.

The group was growing rapidly and he had to get around more often to gain a stronger foothold in the fellowships. He paid some attention to me when he saw me. I was told by a very dedicated friend and sister,Sharon Sullivan that I trusted in her devotion to Jesus, that Stewart had the ‘gift of discernment’ and I was curious as I wanted to know what he saw in me so I began to pay more attention to what he said and listen more at the center meetings.

At the time we still also went to churches sometimes. I brought the fellowship with John Bevilaqua as leader to Gateway Cathedral on SI since I frequented it before joining the FF. in the middle of the meeting, John stood up and said “WHAT SPACE!!” and we all got up and walked out.

I was really embarrassed at his outburst as the Pastor was teaching. Still I wanted to learn how to boldly witness and get more nuggies so I stopped going to church and learned my 12 verses. I got my button. I was so proud and wanted my sinners prayer and got it.

Immediately I went to my family and tried to convert all of them. My parents said I was brainwashed and told my fiance that he better beat some sense into me…He started to come to the fellowship and contest the meetings.I was still seeing him and leaving fellowship to go for drives and talk.

He was getting increasingly agitated by my moving in and one night was driving very erradically around the island and the Holy Spirit showed me his heart!

The Holy Spirit began to speak through me!!….telling him that he was driving the old bus route that his father used to take him on when he was young. His father died when he was 9 yrs old.

I knew nothing about my fiance’s father, but the Holy Spirit did!

It was amazing and he got angrier. He sped up and went passed Clove Lakes and I looked at him and said, “he is buried over there!”

He stopped the car turned it around and said ” who’s been talking to you? How did you know that?” [there was a cemetary across the street from the park~ he then pulled up by it and got out.It was dark. He told me to shut up , but when the Spirit speaks you cant…I began to walk and went right to his father’s grave!! He was flipping out by this point and said “How do you know where he is buried?”

I said the Holy Spirit was showing me…He walked away from me , tears in his eyes….

I looked around and in the Spirit, I saw a little boy behind another gravesite, sitting, sobbing telling God to give him back and to take him instead…I walked over to him and told him.

He busted out crying.[now this was a 27 yr old Viet Nam vet.. they dont cry easy!] I told him what he told God back when he was 9.. and that he was angry at God ever since for watching his father get buried and him still living..That was it for him, he said “Get back in the car!”…… He said ” where is that prayer?”

We drove back to the Seneca St.Fellowship about a mile up the road. I told him that I needed to be sure that he knew what he was doing and felt I couldnt simply lead him to Jesus there.

He came into the fellowship and before everyone he knelt down and prayed for forgiveness and asked Jesus into his heart! He started coming over every night for a while. We were almost at the date for our wedding but now the Sharon and the others were telling me that since he was a ‘babe in Christ’ that I needed to wait to get married and let him ‘grow in the Lord’ first…

Because of my experience with the Holy Spirit, I listened to the older brethren. My fiance came over for more evening bible studies but he didnt like the idea of postponing the wedding but he relented and still came by.

I told him that he would have to move in but that was not going to happen. He said he did everything he was supposed to do as to getting saved but that they were in fact brain washing me.They told me that I needed to go away for a while and if he was the one God had for me that we would be reunited and he would be stronger in Jesus if I went away.

Well that is another story. I went away, he left fellowship and we broke up..Anyway I was starting to think Stewart might have the Holy Spirit and when we were out witnessing one night we found a billboard of Moon and that he was the ‘prophet to the nation” so I repainted Stewarts name into the sign and brought it to the Sept1st Big Meeting.
I thought it would impress Stewart.

My new zeal for the fellowship was growing. I was leading people to Jesus! I was however having problems with some of the people in the SI fellowship as they wanted me to move to another center to get me away from my fiance.

I gave him back his ring and moved at that meeting to Wilmington, later to Center City where I stayed most of the rest of my time in Cobu working hard to be one of the early sisters to become a group leader.

Stewart used to come there when they had Center Leader meetings in Rem’s apt on the top floor. I used to spend alot of time reading the bible downstairs late at night and he would talk to me a little here and there, asking me what I was reading and thought of what I was reading and also about my ‘mother trip’ that I was notorious for.I told him how many in the fellowship didnt have money and were out of work. He said that was a problem he was thinking about and trying to do something about.

I told him how when I moved to Wilmington under Ernie Benczak,that there were 8 of us that moved there after the Sept75 meeting and none of us had any money and that we went without food those first several days. We all earnestly looked for jobs and when I got one, I spent my first paycheck on groceries for everyone. He said that all I needed to do was to feed myself and that the others could simply get their own jobs and feed themselves!

I told him of a visit I took one weekend in Center City and saw verses all over everyone’s food stashes and how ungodly it was as well as the selfishness and lack of compassion there was for those without money or food. I said I came from a large family and no one ever went hungry when we all pitched in.He agreed that communal meals could be a good idea.

He asked me if anyone helped pay for them and I told him that those who had money chipped in for groceries and those who had no money ate free.I carried that practice over to Center City when I moved there.

I told him I’d rather make a large cheap meal and feed everyone than to just go over to Dey’s Deli and feed myself alone, knowing others were hungry.

Stewart took many ideas from the concerns of others, they werent all his ideas. He did that with nuggies people shared with him too. He could enlarge their nuggie into a bible study , using concordances and life experiences.

Many other men have done likewise and started religions without the Holy Spirit. He wasnt naiive like most in the fellowship. He was in his late 30’s and a shrewd intelligent man coming off very fatherly and cool. Most of the fellowship was under 21, naiive and easy to manipulate.Many didnt know how to use a concordance. Everyone hungered for God’s word.

Many of Stewart’s bible studies had long lists of references to look up later on and often the verses didnt match the theme of the study or made the study hard to digest. I remember trying to go through a study that had so many odd references that I thought I wasnt getting it.

I was beginning to lose confidence in my own reasoning and abilities to hear the Holy Spirit when I read the bible and we all were being encouraged to not think for ourselves but the consensus was to start to simply trust Stewart since he had a pipeline to the Holy Spirit and that we needed further empower him and the church to put our money together to start a bible school or training center.

Come now let us reason together was now come now and listen to Stewart. We needed to get centralized and organized. He convinced the center leaders as they were with him from the beginning.He dazzled with words, in the bible and publicly bold and unconventional, very appealling back in the day…He was to be emulated.

Brothers wanted to be like Stewart.Sisters wanted to please him and become eligible to get married. He set the standards as he was wise and disscerning by popular belief and legend. He promised to do a new ‘marriage bible study’ in the near future.

We were already a fellowship now turned church and got the tax exemption and new name, but had to learn how understand the bible and to use it right and that it was accepted by most that Stewart being so close to the Holy Spirit, had to be the head [replacing Jesus in actuality] since he was said to have had discernment and part of de-stressing Stewart, so he could focus on writing bible studies was to free him from the mundane which included the plane we got him almost a year earlier [so he could travel quickly between fellowships and personally teach], since alot of what he sent out got watered down,[looking back that watering down was really the Holy Spirit watering us so we were mostly thriving spiritually when we had our nightly bible studies].

Stewart may have given many of the initial bible studies to the center leaders, but we had the Holy Spirit and the word of God is alive and active, so many of us were doing well, better with his absence, yet trust in him grew out of proportion.

So that was also why it seemed so important to get his kids back from Shirley, so he could be a right ‘leader’. Then it was announced that we would pool all of our money and give to each according to our needs..

All our debts ‘would’ be paid off collectively and food would be bought wholesale and jobs would be created. Idealistically it sounded good. Rem saw through some of it and after the announcement that Stewart was going to crown Gayle as Queen Esther, Rem split![but that is another story]

Now with verses like “My thoughts are not your thoughts…”….. I spoke to some brethren about it and it seemed the more Stewart was being revered, the less anyone questioned his teachings…

This was the transition time 1975-76 and the core group was loyal…and it was important to get Rem back for solidarity..a collection was taken up at a Big Meeting shortly before we started handing over our paychecks.

I donated $100- specifically for that telling them if Stewart didnt go out to Cali to get Rem that I wanted it back… I tried for a while but never got it back.

Each ran their centers a little differently. I remember in 75 before leaving NYC to go to the PHILI center, Dave R in NYC was really on fire [always loved Jesus and it showed!]and fairly good St copycat [with his mannerisms, baby Z and nodding head as he taught].. as well as Vinny diPaulo..[adorable mini St!]All the bros were emulating St in NYC!

It seemed the way to go at the time.NYC was run very serious. Phili was more laid back and even allowed music and guitar playing and when I for one , wanted to go away to visit my family, Rem allowed it. I didnt feel imprisoned but free to serve Jesus as did many who have fond memories from that era, because the Holy Spirit was with the majority of us in our fellowships.

I saw Stewart more as a human figure and not a king but while he was separated from Shirley I felt sorry for him, so that led me trust him more for a while. I was getting sucked in further to his trip. He was always with Gayle and the rumors of Shirley having accused him ahead of their separation, of being involved with Gayle never left me.

That was a strong part of why Rem left. I knew Stewart’s type ‘in the world’ but wasnt sure how to process this ‘so called’ man of God doing such things, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a while going against my better judgement as I was learning daily to do more and more.

One time he mentioned that he had ‘so many bible studies’ waiting to be typed out that he could be backslid for 5 yrs and no one would catch on since they trusted him so much. He knew that I was a harder sell and so he seemed more human to me when he spoke to me privately.

I felt I shouldnt judge him for his seemingly wrong behavior since I had alot of sin in my past and Jesus forgave me so I let it go until he said that. I held that in and didnt leave the fellowship yet. It did make me start to wonder about his relationship with Jesus however since it seemed arrogant and negating the Holy Spirit’s power in the lives of those in the fellowship.

That told me that he was already backslid or just a con man.

Like I said I knew his type in the world and now I didnt like what I saw. Still at this point I was committed to staying in the fellowship and wanting it to get better.

Then When Bob Hillendbrant replaced Rem, the harshness was introduced rather quickly to the Phili center.That was around the end of May or early June 1976.He collected our paychecks , announced the purchase of a dirty run down warehouse in Camden and closed the Center City fellowship. We scattered to other fellowships, some to Upper Darby, Camden and elsewhere.

Although I had been a waitress and also worked cleaning houses and babysitting, I began working for a couple in S.Phili who had a store and became lambs. They were on a tight budget so part of my pay was a small apt in the back of the store.

I took it and used it for a mini fellowship since I was already a group leader and I could ‘follow-up’ on the lambs in Phili and did..my boss was having a baby within a month and my hours increased, but it was a little grocery store with a pool table in the back and I was allowed to witness while I worked so it was great.

I told Bob how much I liked it and that it was such a great location. He allowed me to stay there but I financed it all on my own and had brought my own furniture there. I had a couple of sisters stay over a few times, but mostly I was alone.

I called Bob nightly and got instructions and names of particular lambs who needed to be follow upped. Then I would arrange for meeting places to pick them up for the Saturday night meetings. It was getting close to the 4thJuly Big Meeting which was going to be held in NYC.

I brought a lot of lambs to a center meeting when Bob announced the new deal..dont trust older fellowship and group leaders!! I was aghast. He was portraying older members as being into the flesh and that a new thing was happening that the lambs were the favored of Stewart and that the older ones had gotten away from his teachings and needed to go to NYC to be retrained….THIS  I BELIVE, WAS THE POINT OF DEPARTURE JUNE 1976!!

ICHABOD~!! THE GLORY OF THE LORD HAD DEPARTED…Stewart had gained total control of the multitude… the edge he needed to finally take over and the wolf in sheeps clothing was showing his fangs.. training up lambs to bite and devour one another~ demasculating the brothers, beating their flesh with the bible and brainwashing their minds…vconverting them into a work force that would establish his kingdom on earth.

By breaking down the older brethren, he threw them offguard as to who he really was as he got people to want to prove their faithfullness to Jesus by a new set of rules, his. Still MANY of those who loved Jesus remained, LONGER,  although many we smart enough to leave in the mid 70’s. . I was one of them.

Later I returned to NYC to my family and visited the COBU several times, because I missed my brethren…Each time I went they would offer apologetics that the place was getting better and that Stewart was going to make it right and that we all needed to come back and go through the training so we would be of one mind- sacrificing it all for Jesus to obtain that dream we all shared about preaching the gospel across the nation. Those who stayed or went back, did so wanting to be part of evangelizing the nation, but had to first submit to the new training… the brainwashing…the harshness… the degradation…so many went through it as their ‘reasonable sacrifice’ and many were later delivered out and continued serving Jesus… but the damage was done…

Our spirits were being raped by the spirits Stewart was controlled by and those who stayed remained captive to the whims of a devilish con man who replaced the Holy Spirit’s guidance with his own agenda, covering it with the form of religion, but removing the power of it from individual lives and spitting out those he couldnt break…

The Holy Spirit still spoke to many hearts so Stewart or those ‘like minded’ to him caused public confessions to find out what was going on in people’s heads and then beat them up with it as well…to cause deeper submission, compliance, obedience and alienation from the outside world.

Those who tried to make things right were battered spiritually and psychologically abused for years til they finally left, receiving ‘parting gifts’ of tormenting demons who followed many for years with spirits of despair,infirmity,hopelessness, depression,suicide,failure,delusion, confusion, religion, hate, anger, disbelief, unbelief and the rest of Legion!Many have sought deliverance over the years.

Many made it through, but how many didnt? How many souls have yet to recover?